Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Speaker A: Hey, friend.
[00:00:02] Speaker B: Welcome to Perspectives into Practice, a place where life's stories meet practical wisdom. Together, we'll explore how faith filled perspectives can transform the way we live, love, and grow.
So grab a seat, settle in, and join us on this journey to turn inspiration into action.
Let's dive in foreign.
Welcome back to Perspectives into Practice. Today's conversation is one I think so many of us are going to feel in a real way. We're talking about those seasons where life feels full in every direction. Not bad, not wrong, just a lot. The kind of season where you're holding good things and hard things at the same time. You're growing and stretching. There's joy and a little bit of grief. And if we're not careful, it can start to feel overwhelming really quickly. Today I'm sitting down with my new friend Andrea as we talk about this season in her life, what God is teaching her in the middle of it, and how she's learning to navigate it with trust instead of overwhelm. What I love about this conversation is that we're not just talking about the weight of it. We're talking about how God meets us in it and how he steadies us, invites us to trust and how we can actually walk through these seasons with peace instead of pressure. Welcome, Andrea. I'm so glad that you're here.
[00:01:28] Speaker A: Thank you, Jessica. I'm excited for our conversation today.
[00:01:31] Speaker B: Oh, me too. All right, before I dive in, y' all know I love a good, fun fact. And you said that you love all things Golden Girls and Gilmore Girls, and I love that so much. I love both of them in their own ways. And I feel like there's so much personality and humor and little bits of wisdom in so many different ways for each of them. So what keeps you coming back to those shows?
[00:01:58] Speaker A: Yes, you know, I loved Golden Girls first. I, I didn't watch Gilmore Girls until about two years ago with my daughter. Like, I, when it came out, I was in college, like, I didn't watch a lot of new tv, but I watched a lot of Golden Girls. And Golden Girls just gives me wonderful memories of watching with one of my grandmothers, like spending the night at her house. And we would watch it on Saturday nights and just laughing. And I just love the wit and their different personalities and just some of the ridiculous scenarios that they are faced with. And I just love it. Over here on my desk, I have a whole little corner of Golden Girls memorabilia and fun things.
[00:02:36] Speaker B: I love that.
I love that they are so silly and wild and witty and there's so much personality for both of the shows. I mean, they're like different seasons of life.
But when I look back at the Golden Girls and their ages, their ages in that show are about where I am now. And I just can't wrap my mind around that.
[00:02:58] Speaker A: I know.
I feel like back in the 80s, 90s, like that age, I don't know, just the way they dress, like, you just looked older than I feel like women look today.
[00:03:09] Speaker B: I completely agree. I saw a picture or someone put long hair on all of them and it significantly made them look younger. And I was like, yeah, that, that does make a lot more sense.
Oh, my goodness.
All right, so I'd love you to talk about your season that you're going through. So you share with me that you're in a really full stretching season right now. And so what does that season look like for you and how, how did you find yourself here?
[00:03:41] Speaker A: Yes. So it has just been so full and full of good things, blessings like work projects and it's kind of busy season in my full time job. Like lots of good things. My daughter is a senior in high school. She's graduating about a month from when we're recording this episode. So some of it is like seasonal of the calendar year of work things. But the other, her graduation is just like this culmination of that season of her life, of the season of having her at home with us full time. So it's just wild.
You know, you hear all the sayings, like don't blink and enjoy every minute and all of that and we hear those things. But I'm here and I'm like, yes, like, that is so true. Like I, I can't believe she's graduating. So holding celebration and some sadness and excitement and overwhelm of all the, that we get to do in this season. Like all the last. She just had her prom this past weekend. We're planning her party. So holding so many good things. But it's also been a lot.
[00:04:50] Speaker B: Yeah. Oh, absolutely. There, there is a lot of beauty and then strain in that, that season where they're growing up and you're growing up, but you're not ready for them to grow up.
I'm not there yet in my, in my parenting journey, but I am trying to, to, to just enjoy each bit. My oldest just got his license.
[00:05:10] Speaker A: Okay, that's.
[00:05:11] Speaker B: I'm good for now.
[00:05:12] Speaker A: Yes. That's a big milestone with both excitement and some trepidation as well, right?
[00:05:19] Speaker B: Yes, yes, yes. Because now he's looking for a car and I'm like, oh, my goodness, if you have your own car, that's just different than him driving my car by himself. I don't know why, but that's. That's where my brain goes. It's different.
Oh, my goodness. So in the middle of all that, what. What have you really felt has been the heaviest for you in this season?
[00:05:38] Speaker A: I think managing all of the tasks and responsibilities, it's really that mental weight, like the mental work of motherhood. Right. Like, keeping all of these things straight just in usual times is a lot. But then add the blessings of extra things. Like with the graduation party. It's not just a party. It's. We have to prepare the photos and the grad invites and the mailing list. And, you know, it's so many bigger projects inside of that scope. And so just managing all of those things has been a lot. But I am a list maker and I've really tried to just like, write things down, get them out of my head, because then I feel like I have a little more room to breathe. But there have been nights, though, when I'm up at like one in the morning thinking about things that still need to be, oh, no,
[00:06:30] Speaker B: the to do list never ending until she graduates. And then you'll. You'll wonder, what. What am I supposed to do now? And so speaking of that, you said you're learning that to hold both the celebration and the sadness. And so what. What has God been showing you in that tension?
[00:06:48] Speaker A: One of the biggest things is that we can experience both of those at the same time. Right? Like that. That God gives us emotions and we can be sad. It's. It's, it's not either or we can, we can have both. And so some days I'm really focused on the excitement. I would say majority of days, that's where I am is like, I'm so excited for her. I'm so excited to get to celebrate her. She's going to go to college. She'll be about an hour from here, so I'm grateful. She won't be super far, you know, so trying to focus on the wonderful, positive things. But then every now and again, if it's like a song I hear or often it's sitting at the kitchen table on an evening and she's out with her friends, and I just see the empty chair. Even since now I'm like, oh, her chair is going to be empty all, you know, starting when she goes to college, like every night. And so it's little things like that that will kind of catch me off Guard. And I'll just feel really teary, really sad.
And I just kind of have to let myself cry it out and feel the emotions and know that that's good and it's okay. I don't have to try to put on the brave face all the time or to tell myself, like, don't be sad. She's gonna. She's gonna be close by. Don't be sad. Like, no, it's okay to be sad. It's okay to grieve this change because it's different. It's gonna be different for all of us. And I think God is okay when we're sad and happy, you know, about the same thing. It's just kind of the full spectrum of human emotions.
[00:08:24] Speaker B: It is. And there's so much that you were learning as a parent as she grows up, but then she has to learn herself as she's becoming an adult. And it is like mourning the loss of your child, but also being so excited for her new next step, her new, you know, future. And, yeah, that's. That's a tumultuous place to live. That. That is a lot of tension. You mentioned that you.
That God partners with us to raise our kids. And so as your daughter is getting ready to graduate, what does it look like for you to trust him not just in your life, but with your children as you begin to release them?
[00:09:08] Speaker A: I feel like this is something as mothers, we actually start doing when they're babies. Not even, you know, not now, just when we're releasing them to college. But it could be little, like the first time you let someone else watch them, or the first time you send them to preschool or to kindergarten or travel with their sports team. You know, there's lots of other little practices we get of letting go along the way. And so while this is a huge letting go, we've also had some practice with it throughout the journey. And I just really try to focus on. I've done what I could. I did the best that I could. No parent is perfect. So of course I've made my mistakes along the way, but I'm just so grateful that God loves our kids even more than we do, which is hard to fathom, but he does. And so I know that he's going to be watching out for her and equipping her and growing her.
And really the best place for us as moms, as parents, is to walk forward in faith and trust instead of angst and overwhelm and fear.
I think part of that fear that can kind of affect our children is they might not think we see them as capable when we're so afraid of what could happen to them or things like that. They I think will doubt their own abilities or self confidence. So I've tried really hard to infuse confidence into my kids and just letting them know like you're ready for this next season, whatever it is. But with our daughter of going to college, like you're ready, you're going to thrive, you're going to do great and God is going to help you. It will be adjustment. But I'm, you know, I'm excited to see what he has for you. So I really tried to use that, that type of language with her.
[00:10:59] Speaker B: So when, when you start to feel that feeling of overwhelm because I can so relate to everything that you're saying. Even, even in that, you know, talk about like the small releases like my, my son just got, I can't even okay releasing him and I'm giving him to the Lord. I actually just made a post about how he, God loves our children more than we do and I literally can't even imagine because I love them so much. So what does it look like when you start to feel overwhelmed and then on the other hand, what does that look like to shift back to trusting God?
[00:11:37] Speaker A: In those moments when I feel overwhelmed and I'm worrying about things, I really try to turn my worries into prayers instead. So instead of just sitting and stewing of whether it's to do list or just like worrying about the future, I've learned my mom has this little phrase. She says that worry is like a rocking chair. It will give you something to do, but it won't get you anywhere.
So I've really tried to think okay, instead of worrying what could be productive. And prayer is always a productive thing we can do even if it doesn't change the here and now or we don't get the answers immediately that we're wanting. It just it's a very important shift in our heart and our mind that we can make realizing I can talk to God who has all of this under control and I can tell him about my worries and he'll exchange them for his perfect peace that passes all understanding. So I just really try to make that shift and, and again really walk by faith, put my faith into practice when I am feeling, feeling the overwhelm.
And often I think as moms, not only in seasons that are extra full and we feel stretched, but even just in the day to day we feel stretched as moms of like I don't have enough time, like I have way too much housework to do or running the kids around. And we just feel like this shortfall of time or abilities. But when we remember that God is all powerful, like he time is not an obstacle for him. Money is not an obstacle for Him. So when we remember that our Heavenly Father can help us with anything, we can rely on him more and trust Him. And sometimes at the end of the day, I look at my list and I'm like, wow, I didn't get very much done on my list, but I did get all of these other things done. And I can just say, okay, I trust that that's what God wanted me to tackle for the, for the day and he'll help me with what I need to look at tomorrow.
[00:13:39] Speaker B: I love that. Can you give us an example of when you have turned that anxiety feeling into a prayer?
[00:13:46] Speaker A: Yeah. So last week my daughter was not feeling good actually. And so leading up to prom and all of the things. And so instead of worrying about like, is she gonna feel well enough for this weekend? I just prayed instead, saying, lord, please heal her body, please give her energy, please give her rest, please help her to feel at least well enough to be able to go and participate and give me wisdom on how I can care for her. So it's just one, one example again of how we can either sit in the worry or we can talk to God and ask him for some help. Yeah.
[00:14:21] Speaker B: Which I think is so important to shift our perspective from that, from the we, we, we can worry or we can trust. And when we go to the trusting side, what is that? What does that look like? And it doesn't have to be some big thing. It literally is just talking to him. So I love, love, love that you mentioned that. Because you're right, it is, it's these simple things that I think we forget about when we're in the moment of overwhelm and anxiety and there's too much to do. And the Lord's like, actually you might not have gotten everything done on your to do list, but you've got everything exactly. That I wanted you to get done. And that's the point. Right. Like, we have to remind ourselves, like, what's the point? Oh, that's right. Serving the Lord, doing His will over our will and our to do list. And it's just beautiful. And I love how you said that you focus on what God is calling you to do today and then trust him with tomorrow. So what does that actually look like in your day to day life? Especially when that anxiety begins to creep in.
[00:15:22] Speaker A: Yes, time is one of our most valuable resources, right? And so when we're looking at today and thinking, okay, what do I need to take care of today? And yes, there are likely things we need to take care of for tomorrow or a few other days. But Jesus tells us each day has its own trouble. Don't worry about tomorrow.
So I really try to live that out and think, okay, that's for tomorrow. Like, tomorrow I can worry about that, or tomorrow I will give that my attention. But today, here's what I'm going to do. So kind of goes back to what I think about making lists. Like, on my calendar, I just have this grid of things for each day of the week. And so if I know I need to give myself, you know, give myself some time to take care of something that doesn't need to be done today, I put it on my to do list for that day. So it's just helpful so I don't forget it. I set lots of reminders on my phone. So it just helps me like, nope, that's not for today. That's for another day instead.
[00:16:19] Speaker B: And I also think getting that off of your brain and out of your brain into a place that it trusts, because that's the trick there. If your brain doesn't trust it, it'll still hold on to it. But getting it out of your brain and doing that just. It helps us to be present in today and not tomorrow. Because you're right. Scripture is very specific. Right in that. And so is there. Is there anything else that you do that our listeners, our friends, can take with them to remember? Maybe a scripture or a different prayer or just an action that you do to remember, Stay present. No anxious today. I mean, I don't know. Is there anything.
[00:17:01] Speaker A: Yes, I. I love. Certain verses that are really helpful to me are from Matthew, chapter 6. So 25, verses 25 through 34, where Jesus tells us, do not worry. And he tells us, do not worry about your clothes, about you will, what you will eat or drink. And he reminds us about the birds of the air, that they're not worried, they're not stowing overflow of food because our Heavenly Father is going to feed them. And so just the reminder that we are more valuable than the sparrows and God takes care of them. So that's helpful verse to me.
Also James, chapter one, verse starting in verse two, where it talks about, consider it pure joy when you face trials of many kinds, because the testing of your faith develops in perseverance and Perseverance, let's finish its work so we may be mature and complete. So knowing that whether it's things I've planned that I'm worried about or unexpected things, trials that they're all part of how God grows us. And so we get to choose really what we do with the overwhelm and the worry. Are we going to choose to believe that it all depends on us, or are we going to remember that God is walking with us and he's equipping us and helping us and he will give us wisdom and he's going to use all of it to help us grow and become mature and complete?
[00:18:33] Speaker B: Yeah, I love that so much.
So for the woman that's listening to our friends that are listening who are in this season of graduation, or maybe they're, you know, in this. In the next season of their beginning college, so this is another letting go season. What are some things that we can be doing to take care of ourselves in this season, not just mentally, but, like, spiritually and physically to. To continue to prepare for the rest of these releases for our children?
[00:19:05] Speaker A: Yes, again, I think being in the word and in prayer are really helpful. I love to keep a prayer journal. I've done this for years. I just, like, write a letter to God all the time. And it just helps, again, the emotions to flow. It just helps everything to come out. And I can just feel a little more at peace, I think, just talking through, even, you know, with the Lord, but then also with friends. Like, I'm grateful I have a community of other moms walking through this at the same time as me. And so sometimes one of us is the one who's really sad, and the others can come alongside and just hug each other and be like, I know, I know I had my day yesterday, or whatever it is. And so community is really important to help us in these seasons, too. Another thing is with every transition or every release and like, beginning of a new chapter, it also opens up possibilities like, yes, we are releasing. Like, we're experiencing loss of having our child at home full time or even if they stay home to go to school close by, like, there's a change, there's a shift that's happened, but. But not all change is bad. Actually, good things can come from change in a new season. And so a mom, I don't have answers necessarily, but I've been thinking about, well, what does the new season for our family make possible? Like, it means that I'm sure our son will get special things. And, you know, her brother who's going to be left behind. Like, it'll be just a new season for the three of us who are home full time. And then also I will have a little more time to be able to do different things. And so again, while that's sad, it's also like, okay, what do you have for me now in this season? God. And so just trusting that he will help me to figure that out.
[00:20:55] Speaker B: Yes, I love that. I love that perspective shift of even though these things are going to look different and they're going to change and I'm going to have to mourn the loss of them, there's still so much beauty in what could be. And I'm so big about asking the Lord questions, Lord, what are you teaching me here? What can I be seeing here and learning from this?
Love that love, love, love that. So for our friend who's listening, who is feeling stretched and overwhelmed and anxious about what's in front of her, about what is to come, what would you want to say directly to her?
[00:21:31] Speaker A: I was thinking about this earlier and I think it is the reminder that it doesn't all depend on you.
I think as moms, we just feel this deeply. We take on everything. We're making sure everyone is well taken care of.
But it's important that we also take care of ourselves. Well. And part of that is realizing it doesn't all depend on us that God partners with us. He tells us to come to him and allow him to bear the burden with us, to allow us to put the when he says, come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. And talking about the yoke and how he partners with us. So remembering that I think is just really huge to know. Like, I. I don't have to do all of this on my own and trusting that God will fill in any gaps that we have, whether that's gaps of like, things we don't think we're strong in or maybe things that we have missed or mistakes we've made along the way. It's just really encouraging to know that when we love the Lord, he works all things for good. And we can do our best to be the best mom that we can, but also know there's no way to be a perfect mom. But there's a million ways that we could be really good moms.
[00:22:54] Speaker B: Yeah, I love that. Oh, Andrea, this has been so wonderful. Thank you so much for being here. I'm so thankful for you, sharing your honesty and your vulnerability in this season. And I know that so Many of our friends that are listening are walking through this exact same thing. And I'm just so thankful for you. Before we wrap up, I want to ask you one last question that I ask every guest, and that is, what is one perspective that you would encourage listeners to apply today?
[00:23:22] Speaker A: The perspective I will leave you with is just to remember that we can hold both joy and sadness in seasons of motherhood. And I'm grateful that God gives us the heart to experience both of those things and to know that we can have happy tears, that he sees them and that it's also as we navigate new seasons. As a mom, let's give ourselves some credit for all that we've done and all that that we have poured into our child and be really proud of what we have done and the good work God has allowed us to do.
[00:24:01] Speaker B: Yes. Beautiful. Beautiful. That's it, folks. She. She did it. She did it. Friend, if this conversation encouraged you, I want to invite you to join me. Come share your story, your perspective, a season where God has been moving in your life. I would love to hear from you. Reach out to me@prespectives into practice.com and remember, even small shifts in perspective can lead to big change. So go put those perspectives into practice. Talk to you next.
