[00:00:01] Jessica: Hey, friend. Welcome to Perspectives into Practice, a place where life's stories meet practical wisdom. Together, we'll explore how faith filled perspectives can transform the way we live, love, and grow.
So grab a seat, settle in, and join us on this journey to turn inspiration into action.
Let's dive in.
Hey, friend. Welcome back to Perspectives into Practice. Have you ever gone to God already? Pretty sure you knew what his answer needed to be. God, I know you're asking me to do this, but obviously something else has to go. Just tell me what to take off my plate. And then he answers with a completely different question.
Well, my new friend Tannera recently found herself there. An opportunity came along to grow in an area that normally she would have been so excited about, except. Except this time she was already feeling so stretched. Her schedule was full, her commitments were full, and from where she was standing, there simply wasn't any room for one more thing. So she took it to God, expecting him to show her what needed to go. But instead, she felt him challenge what she believed in her own capacity. And I think that's a conversation that's so important to talk about because sometimes we absolutely do need to say no, slow down and create margin. But could there be also be times when we've decided what we can or cannot handle based on an old version of ourselves? Fear or a limitation God is actually asking us to reconsider.
Today we're talking about how Tannera is learning to examine those beliefs, lean into God's strength, and let him define what the season can hold. Welcome Tannera. I'm so glad that you're here.
[00:01:50] Tannera: Well, I'm so glad to be here. Jessica. Thanks for having me on the show. I'm excited to talk to our friends today.
[00:01:56] Jessica: Me too. I am so excited to talk to them. We've got a lot of things to talk about. But first, y' all know I love a good, fun fact. And you describe yourself as a coffee shop connoisseur and an autumn aficionado. And we've kind of already talked a little bit about this because. Same.
But my question is, what are you drinking? Where are you sitting? Like, what does it look like outside for this perfect fall coffee shop moment?
[00:02:25] Tannera: Oh, yes. So I love fall. It's all of the colors. Like, the colors do it for me. I think we talked earlier where it's like, can I just take that tree and wear it? Like, the colors are amazing.
So I love fall. I love the colors. Honestly, even the other day, it was so fun. I was. I just got home. I was driving home And I started to see all of the leaves just like in that beautiful, like when the wind hits, it just kind of flutters and the leaves start to fall with the wind. And I just love the beauty of that. And so being a coffee shop connoisseur as well, what that looks like and what I love to do is living in Colorado. I love to, like, find a seat near the window so I can stare at the leaves, enjoy my nice hot cup of coffee in my hand.
Now, of course, I am that basic white girl. I like the pumpkin spice latte in the fall.
Sometimes I do a white chocolate pumpkin spice latte. Watch out, my sugar, apparently. Right.
But I always love getting that fall flavor or sometimes like that nuttiest or that maple leaf or something that's just really fall flavor. And then just watching the leaves dance in the wind and like looking at the beautiful colors that we see come out at fall time, it's just my absolute favorite. I find it's just restorative and refreshing, like, to my soul to do that.
[00:03:40] Jessica: Love it. Yeah, absolutely. And I think taking that time to slow down and just enjoy the simple things, because far too often we are just too fast in all of the things we think get things to go. And no, we can't, you know, can't spend the time to do these things, but we can if we choose.
And we have to make that margin to be able to watch leaves dance. Because, boy, does it not make you so happy just to see that. Oh, exactly.
[00:04:09] Tannera: Right.
[00:04:10] Jessica: I love it so much. I love it. Well, I want to talk about something that happened to you recently because you were given the opportunity to grow in your skill set. And normally you would love this, but you're like, I don't have room for this. So take us into that moment and share with us, like, what. What had already reached your capacity? Like, how did that happen?
[00:04:32] Tannera: No, that's a good question.
So a lot of what I love to do or my husband and I really do this. So I did it while I was single and we did while we're married. But we sit down once a year with the Lord and we say, okay, Lord, what's your vision? What's your heart for us this year? So we really do focus on the year in front of us. And then after we feel like God kind of shows us his vision, then we say, lord, what do you need of us to respond or to agree with your word?
[00:04:56] Jessica: Right.
[00:04:57] Tannera: Because faith without works is dead. So there is a piece to say. I'm going to come into partnership and into agreement with his word. And therefore that's why I'll do these actions by faith, right?
[00:05:06] Jessica: Yeah.
[00:05:06] Tannera: But a lot of times that requires for us to grow in our skill set, right. We've got to learn new things, we've got to gain new knowledge and information. We've got to apply new understanding. And so in my job, which I love my job and what I do is it's, you know, it's a good 40 hour a week job.
So I've already got that, that's a full plate. And then on top of that, you know, building out my, I'm building out my business and my coaching business, My husband's building out his real estate business.
And then on top of that, we serve in our church. Right. So we've got these different things we're doing and then we've recently started looking into adoption. And so which is if you've never gone that route, which we're so excited. We, we know that, we know we've gotten a word from the Lord about this and so we're excited for it. But in the process of it, it's a lot of work and there's a lot of classes and different things you have to do for certification.
So we're doing all of this. And I started just having a desire to go back to school and work on getting my degree. Well, this on top of these other things. And then this other opportunity came in for me to really like take some new classes, build some skill set to really grow my coaching business.
And then I sat down one day with my husband and I was like, honey, I'm really overwhelmed. Like, I don't know how I'm going to do this all. I think I'm going to explode. It was that point where all of these things that are good that should inspire and create joy in my life. We're not creating joy. They were creating stress.
And the truth of it was is it wasn't that it was bad. They were all good things. Right. And that's really the truth of it. It's never really the bad things. It's not like I wish this bad thing would leave. Yes, I agree, we all do. But a lot of times we get overwhelmed by the good things because there's maybe too many yeses. And I had set started saying yes to too many things because I had started to enroll back into college. I was already enrolled in this program to grow and learn new skill set job started including new training as well. Because there's new levels of things they want us to, to Develop and grow and add. So all of this stuff coming at once.
And I had to sit with my husband, just be like, okay, I. I can't do this because I'm literally almost hyperventilating and freaking out by how much there is to do. And what should be bringing me joy is now bringing me distress.
[00:07:17] Jessica: Yeah.
[00:07:18] Tannera: And so I had to sit down with the Lord again. Right. And I think that's where it's that place of when we get overwhelmed, even by the good things, we have to stop and ask, okay, what should I be saying yes to and what should I be saying no to? Right, right. And so, of course I sit with the Lord. I'm like, okay, God, what needs to come off of my plate?
[00:07:34] Jessica: Right. All of this.
And.
[00:07:36] Tannera: And I just love how, like, the Holy Spirit is and how he just. He's so, like, at least with me, he's like, really sweet and gentle, and you just feel like, well, baby girl. It's like how he calls me just like, hey, baby girl. He's like, well, baby girl, what did I say? I was like, yeah, what did you say? Right. Going back to at the beginning.
[00:07:54] Jessica: Let's go back. Yes.
[00:07:56] Tannera: Okay. Lord, what do you have for us? And it was very simple. There was only two things. God had given us an assignment for this year. Just two. And I had. I had out of a good desire in the heart. Right.
[00:08:06] Jessica: Sure.
[00:08:06] Tannera: Just began to add, add, add, add. Add all these things.
And so I had to sit back and be like, okay, you're right. I'm going to start saying no to more things because what, what was happening? And I'll be honest about this, because I kept saying yes to all these good things to add to then the most important piece in our life. And let's just say this, like we just talked about earlier, like sitting down with a cup of coffee and watching the le.
[00:08:28] Jessica: Yeah.
[00:08:28] Tannera: Being able to sit and read the Word. Be able to sit and just have reflection time with the Holy Spirit on your week and asking him, like, lord, what went well? What can I adjust? Lord, where were you in this week? Show me how good you were to me this week. That time with the Lord, that time in worship, it started to suffer because it got to where I'm waking up at 4am and I'm not in bed until 9pm and some people are like, hey, that's great. I was like, yeah, but I'm up at 4. I'm tired. Okay.
Yes. But it's like, run, run, run. Like, you're literally running all day long.
But I wasn't bringing the Lord into it. I wasn't bringing the Holy Spirit into it. Right? And what he began to teach me and show me was like, hey, your yes to all of these other things has become my no.
And that'll hit you right when God's telling you, you just said no to me because you said yes to all these, quote, good things. But. But where am I in this? Like, you didn't. You forgot me. And it was such a wake up call of like, you're right, Lord. What did you say? One, I get to go back and simplify to the. The action pieces. But even bigger than that, the first purpose of my creation and why God created me comes back to John 3:16. For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son. Those who believe in him shall not perish, but have everlasting life. And verse 17, we always miss. And this is everlasting life.
[00:09:44] Jessica: Yes, right?
[00:09:45] Tannera: And this is everlasting life. To know him, the one who created you to know Him. This is our purpose. And so I had lost my first purpose. Not on purpose, but I began to step away from it because I just let the busyness and even the excitement of these new things, new skills, new developments, things that my husband and I were excited about, to just drown out that intimacy and that time with the Lord and that place of just saying, lord, I want to know you and I want to be intimate in your heart, and I want to know your character and I want to hear your voice intimately. And so it really was a hard season where it was like, okay, I'm gonna have to start pulling out things I'd already put money into. Right? You're not getting that money back. But it's like, all right, we're still doing the adoption route because we know God said. But there were the other things that, like, honestly, I pulled out of school, I pulled out of some of the marketing training where I was like, all right, those are good things, but they're not for this season. So they're not a no, but they're not right now. And so it was learning how to put them back on the shelf and just say, that's gonna wait. And I'm gonna keep going at the pace God has called me to go at. And I'm not gonna try to outrun the vision of God. And I think sometimes that's like, I have a tendency to do that where I feel like I have a passion, a desire. I'm like, I think this is the future we're going towards. I Feel like this is the Lord, and then I want to run ahead and do it without actual direction. Right or without the timing. Right. Because doesn't scripture say, the Lord leads us by his peace? And I had gotten out of peace, so it showed me I was now making decisions on my own and I wasn't coming back into following the peace of God. So sorry. I talked forever. Jessica, your turn.
[00:11:17] Jessica: No, no, that's. I love that so much because I. I feel like I'm, like, I'm in this season. I was actually just asking the Lord yesterday, like, what season am I in? In, like, am I in a fall season where things are falling off and I am having to say, or is it more like a spring where things are budding and I am in the right direction? And, like, we're going to see fruit and blooms from this.
Maybe I'm in both. I don't know. But I was. I was just asking the Lord that because I think it's so important that we take the time and take a moment to see what is he doing in our life, and have we consulted with him first before saying the yes instead of with after and hoping that he'll bless our yes. And I feel like there's so many times where it's just so easy to say yes to these good things things, but it's not what we're supposed to be doing. And then we're like, well, Lord, I'm so tired doing everything that you've told me to. And he's like, baby girl, did I
[00:12:15] Tannera: ask you to do all those things?
[00:12:18] Jessica: But you're right. He just added.
Exactly. But it's that taking the time. It's the. It's the slowing down and asking. And so how did you begin to figure out whether you were truly at capacity or whether you just simply need to decide it or. Or if you just decided, like, that's where you were, how did.
[00:12:41] Tannera: What did that look like? Yeah. So the easy way for me to figure out I was at capacity was really just coming back to the place of, like, why am I feeling overwhelmed and stressed? Because God never intended for us to live an overwhelmed, stress life. That was never his desire, his design for us. And then when I began to stop, and I think this is the piece, is it's that. That stopping and reflecting. Stop and look and think, what am I doing? Why am I doing it right? And should I be doing it right?
[00:13:11] Jessica: Right.
[00:13:11] Tannera: Threefold, right. Three things. Right? What am I doing? What am I doing? And should I be doing it right?
That also helps Me delegate things, too. At work, when I'm like, I'll pass that on.
But in my own life, it was that place of the first place of like, I'm getting overwhelmed. My husband's even recognizing it. And because I'm not, I'm. I'm typically a pretty joyful person and happy. And so when I start to get stressed and overwhelmed, even my husband's like, hey, what's going on? You know, what can we fix here? I don't like this side of you.
[00:13:44] Jessica: Yes.
[00:13:44] Tannera: And so it is kind of like, even other people can help make me aware of. I'm like, yeah, you're right. I'm running, I'm getting stressed. I'm exhausted.
So.
[00:13:52] Jessica: But is it.
[00:13:52] Tannera: But it was kind of that place of. Sometimes we're in a season where it's like, it's almost required of us that we're like, hey, I know I'm going to be exhausted in this season. We just need to walk through it. It's kind of that winter season, or it's just. It's a rush season or maybe the harvest season, I guess you could say, where everything comes in at once. You just gotta do it.
[00:14:07] Jessica: Right.
[00:14:08] Tannera: But it's that sometimes you're in that season. And so I had to sit down and reflect and say, okay, am I supposed to be doing everything I've committed myself to?
[00:14:16] Jessica: Yeah.
[00:14:16] Tannera: Or by over committed. Right. And for me, that is. That is a problem. I work on that. It's like, I have a problem with getting committed to things.
[00:14:22] Jessica: Same.
[00:14:23] Tannera: And so. Right.
So I had to sit down and reflect and be like, okay, Tanara.
[00:14:28] Jessica: Right.
[00:14:28] Tannera: Because I'm also, like, I have the privilege of being able to join you and your friends today on the podcast. And as I jump in more podcasts, I'm like, okay, am I saying yes to too many podcasts? Right. So even learning how to say, okay, what am I supposed to give my yes to in the season? So let's go back to what did God say? What is his vision for my life in this season? And I love how you've even shared it earlier. You're asking, okay, am I in the spring? Am I in the fall? Am I in the summer? Am I in winter? What season of life am I in right now? And so really, we have to gauge. I had to gauge, what season of life am I living in right now? Well, the season that we're in right now, I feel like is very much summer, if that's the right word. Like, we're tilling the ground. We're tilling the ground hard, we're planting seeds, but we haven't gotten to the harvest part yet. And. And it's easy. I was starting to really just feel weary in all of this. And so it's good work, but it's exhausting work. And you just like, I want the microwave moment where it just happens and I get the harvest. But it's like, now I've gotta wait. But I want the microwave. And we just make it happen. But it's like, okay, so some things that I'm in. It was almost like, out of my frustration that this wasn't moving, I'll jump into this because maybe it'll happen faster. And I was like, good things, but in the wrong season. It wasn't the timing. It's like, you know what? Put that on the shelf and do that next summer. Just get a harvest on this one first, right?
[00:15:44] Jessica: Yes.
[00:15:44] Tannera: So it was like just sitting back and asking myself, okay, what am I doing? Okay, these are the things I'm doing.
[00:15:49] Jessica: All right?
[00:15:50] Tannera: Why am I doing them? Well, I have a vision for each one. Should I be doing them? That's where it was like, oh, should I? And that's where I asked the question, okay, is this something that God's asked me to do? Is this something my. My spouse has maybe asked me to do or we agreed that we were going to do? Or is this something I've put on myself?
[00:16:05] Jessica: Right?
[00:16:06] Tannera: And the things where I started to recognize I put it on myself, Those were the first things to start saying, okay, Tanara, is probably time to take these off your plate. No one has these expectations on you. These are of your own making. So it's time for you to lay down and to adjust what you believe you're capable of. Because I tend to overestimate my capacity.
And I stand to be in a place where I'm thinking, well, of course I can do all that. Or I think, because I don't. I don't want to ask someone else to do it, so I can just do it. But sometimes just because I can do it doesn't mean I should do it. So there are things I just need to delegate off or just say either it's not for me for this season or let somebody else know, hey, this is awesome. But unfortunately, I can't help with that right now. Right. It's not in my season. This isn't the thing I'm supposed to take on. And so being able to say no to protect my yes to the priorities of my season and being able to do that is what moves me back into a place of peace. Right. Being able to live by the peace of God, be directed by the peace of God and not losing the priority of relationship with him and that protecting that space of time with him.
[00:17:09] Jessica: Yeah.
[00:17:09] Tannera: Because I. It's. Isn't it the easiest thing? It's like the first thing to go is, is our time with the Lord, our self care, our time of taking care of ourselves, whether that's our nutrition or working out or maybe just like, I just need to pluck all these chin hairs. Like, you know how many times I'm like, I haven't plugged my eyebrows in forever. Like I got some chin hairs from one in. I need to do some self care.
[00:17:30] Jessica: Yes.
[00:17:31] Tannera: Right. But it's the first thing to go because I'm like, ah, that can wait until one day. I'm like, oh, it's getting a little stubbly. I gotta do something here. Right?
[00:17:37] Jessica: Yes. You're in the, the sun shines. Yes.
[00:17:40] Tannera: You're like, there they are. Right.
So it's just. But it's always the first thing to go out the window. And it was really just having to get myself back in check of like, hey, first of all, your joy has turned into stress and frustration. So something's wrong. We need to get back into joy. So how do we do that? And then asking myself those three questions, what am I doing? Why am I doing it right? And should I be doing it if it does not fit within the priorities of my season. Being able to go back to my yes, yes. And that's the piece. As many times we don't know our yes. You know, like I didn't know that, hey, at the beginning of this year, this is my yes to the Lord. This is what I need to stay focused on. Then it's easy to get distracted, it's easy to forget those and do other things. But because I can go back to that place of saying, lord, this is what you said. This is my yes to you. Therefore, by faith, I'm going to move towards this and say no to all of these other good things and say, no, not yet. Not that you're not for the future, but not yet.
And I'm going to stay focused on protecting my yes to you and my yes to what you've asked of us for this season.
[00:18:41] Jessica: Yeah, but just it's so important to see that and to recognize it and to examine our thoughts and see like, where, where are we going? Where, what are we doing with this?
Asking those questions. I'm. I Am a huge proponent of asking questions. Because if you don't ask questions, you don't get answers. Therefore, there's no change. So we have to. And so I want to kind of stay there for a moment because I'm sure that our friend listening has gone through something like this, and they've got this thing that's in their head, and they don't know how to recognize it. So how.
[00:19:13] Tannera: How did you.
[00:19:14] Jessica: Or are you learning to notice the difference between that thought that feels true and then something that God actually says is true?
[00:19:22] Tannera: No, I think that's such a good question. The thought that feels true versus the actual truth, Right? Yes. And it's really easy for those emotions and thoughts of like, but you should, right? We do. We play this game with ourselves. I do. I played this game with myself. And I always love saying, stop shooting yourself. Yes, you do that. Like, you should. You should do this. You should do that. Well, because when we say, well, should I do it? They're like, well, yes, I should. I should do it.
[00:19:46] Jessica: All right?
[00:19:47] Tannera: That's the question. It's like. But the truth is, is that's an expectation we place upon ourselves. So I like to always go back to the word number one. Why was I created? Why do I live on this earth relationship with God? I was created to know him. That is my number one call. So if that is suffering, something's out of order, number one, right? Then breaking down the priority order. All right? After my relationship with God is my relationship with my husband. That is my next level of priority. And if I notice that I'm getting frustrated or angry or my husband's getting my leftover, I'm exhausted. I can't be nice to you today because all the niceness has been used out today. Something's wrong, right? If I start to notice I can't serve my husband in the areas that he needs or that we've agreed upon, right? To serve each other, all right? Something's wrong. Because how do I keep those. Protecting those yeses to those priorities, right? Then when it comes to your kids, when it comes to your job, when. So you kind of like build out, or I think you have to do that first. Is build out that priority list of like, okay, what gets my yes first? What is that priority? Then anything that comes out from underneath of that, I can say no. I can say, you know what? You may think you need to do it. So let me give an example. So my husband.
I'm not a huge football girl. Being from Texas. You think I would. Because I was born and raised in Texas. We live in Colorado. Not a huge football fan, but my husband is insane. Right? But what I've noticed is that when I pause and I'll sit on the couch with my husband and watch a game with him, and I may be all like, that's great. I don't really know what's happening. Oh, a nice halftime show, right? I don't know.
I don't care. I get nothing out of it. But my husband actually feels so full. Like he feels well cared for and attentive and like I care about. Like he feels like that I care about him now. I do. Yeah. And I'm like, well, there's other ways I can show you I care, but what speaks to him. Right? Right. And so here's the thing. You know what was going through my head while I'm sitting on that couch? Like, I have laundry to do. I just bought the groceries. I need to get the meal prep done because I got to be at work tomorrow, or, like, all of these tasks and things, and I'm like, well, let me go do this. And that's how I show you I love you. Right? I'm getting all this done. I'm getting you clean underwear, babe. That's a good thing, right?
[00:21:56] Jessica: Could not care less.
[00:21:58] Tannera: You could care less. So me saying yes to my marriage is not saying yes to the way I think it should be done, but it's saying yes to the way he needs to receive that love, the way he needs to receive that. That friendship. Right? He needs to. We need to be friends. And so how can I serve him the way he needs to be served, not the way I want to serve him? And so that's that place of how do I let go of the shoulds I have to examine? Are my should self imposed? Am I saying I should because I think I should, or is it because I should do that? I need to do that because that's how he gets ministered to, right? Or that's how my kids get ministered to. Or that's what I. You know, my job is requiring for it versus no. I put this on myself because nobody else out here, if I didn't do it, would anyone notice? Notice? Probably not, right?
[00:22:42] Jessica: Yeah.
[00:22:42] Tannera: So it's even that place of saying, well, I'm just gonna let the laundry sit, and if my husband says anything, I'll be like, okay, well, babe, you have a choice. I can sit and watch football, or I can do the laundry. Which one do you want?
But honestly, I even asked him and he's like, well, let it sit. And I was like, okay, you're fine. I'm gonna sit on the couch with you. Then you don't care about the laundry getting done. I'll do it another time. Right?
[00:23:01] Jessica: Yeah.
[00:23:01] Tannera: Yeah. Sometimes it's that place of saying, okay, well, getting through that thought, that first thought that says, well, this feels true.
Well, it's gonna feel true because it's our belief system, and our belief system has to be challenged. Right. Because I was believing that doing all of this made me a good wife. But the truth was actually what makes me a good wife is doing what my husband needs, not what I think he needs.
[00:23:23] Jessica: Right.
[00:23:23] Tannera: So get. Getting that clarity, asking questions of my husband and saying, hey, how do you feel? Honored. How do you feel? Respected? Hey, how do you, like, what does it look like when you feel loved by me? What can I do to serve you in that? And when he thinks about it, right. Sometimes he's got to stop me. Like, I don't know. And I'm like, okay, think about it. We'll come back to it.
[00:23:40] Jessica: Yeah.
[00:23:40] Tannera: Or I notice things that he'll comment and I'll say, okay, so when I did this, you said, this. Does that really minister to you? And he's like, actually, yeah. Yeah, that's what I like. Right. So it's even helping him define what those things are.
[00:23:50] Jessica: Yeah.
[00:23:51] Tannera: And then I'm like, okay, good. I can change. I can change the way I believe in order to let go of that thought that says, no, this is what you should do to Nara. This feels true. To actually let me challenge that belief and see what the truth is and who it connects with. Yeah.
[00:24:05] Jessica: And I, I. It's so good. That's so good. I want to take it a step further because. Yeah. When we have those thoughts and we recognize them, we obviously have to do something with them or, like, what's the point at all? So how can we begin to bring our thinking back to doing something about that when our old beliefs want to jump back?
[00:24:31] Tannera: Yes, they do.
[00:24:34] Jessica: No.
[00:24:34] Tannera: And I think this really comes down to the scripture in Ephesians that says, right? We take every thought captive that exalts itself against the word of God, and we bring it into captivity. So simple action of that, and this is what I, you know, I tell people, so. Have you ever seen the verbiage? There is. You take it captive. Have you ever seen a movie where a police officer is taking someone captive? Is it ever polite?
[00:24:54] Jessica: Right.
[00:24:54] Tannera: Because you never see a police officer. Sir, could you. Would you mind Would you mind just, you know, put your hands behind your back. Would you be okay getting on the ground, sir? Would you. Would that be okay for you? Do you. Oh, it's too hard. Okay.
[00:25:05] Jessica: Shove you in the car.
[00:25:07] Tannera: Literally. There's a violence about it. There's a force with it. And so the thing to think about is, like, when I have those thoughts come, right, and let's even just say thoughts of the enemy about tener, you're not good enough. You're not a good wife, you know what you should do if you are going to be a better wife or you're going to be better at your job or a better mother or. Right. Those things. When those thoughts come right, I have to actually say, you know what? I can't just be like, oh, well, oh, I know the word says, that's not true, but it's okay. And the thought stays. It stays. Because you didn't take it captive. You just chose a shoe. Shoe. And it stayed. It didn't go. Yeah. So there has to be this forceful fight within us. The good fight of faith that comes in and says, you know what? That is a lie of the. What does God's word say? So how do you bring it into captivity and submit it to God's word? You got to know God's word, right? You got to get in there and say, okay, if this. If right now I have a lie coming against me saying that, hey, Tanara, you messed up on that. You're not good. You're invaluable. Like, who wants to spend time with you? What's the worth you have? Does your husband even love you? Like, whatever that lie is, that thought that feels true, the emotions are real, right? Doesn't mean the emotions are telling you the truth. That's the difference. The emotions, yes, are real, but they're not always rooted in truth. They're rooted in that. That. That belief that needs to change. So now the word of God that comes in as I can say, no, the word of God says that he who finds a wife finds a good thing. I'm a good thing, right? I'm a blessing to my husband, right? Or when the enemy comes against me. I battled so much of my life believing I was stupid. I was like, you can't do math. You're not smart. Like, I didn't believe I was intell. So I had to say, no. I have the mind of Christ. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, and that includes math. And I can be smart, right? So it's that Place of saying, I have to violently say, I reject the lie, and now I have to speak the truth. And that's bringing that lie into submission to the word of God. And so that's kind of the skill set I would say that is worth applying and learning. But it doesn't look pretty. I can't tell you how many times I'll even like, if it comes, like, my husband does this too, which I love. When he has a thought comes against him, he does what's called a pattern interrupt. So you do something to jar yourself out of the moment. Right. So once he notices it, my husband, like, smacks his hands together. Yeah. Really loud. And it gargles me sometime. And he's like, I'm just attacking a thought right now. And I was like, do it. You. You go for it. Right?
I know for me, I literally just say no. Like, I'll just come straight out with it. And everybody's like, is that okay? I'm like, yeah, I'm just grabbing a thought right now.
[00:27:35] Jessica: Yeah.
[00:27:36] Tannera: Bringing it into captivity.
[00:27:38] Jessica: That's right.
[00:27:38] Tannera: It's like, what is the word of God? I'm to speak in place of that lie. But the thing is, is it's not a one time. I wish it was. Yeah. You don't just do it once and it's done. It's learning the lifestyle of saying, look, we're going to take that thought captive. And over time, as you continue to do it, it will start to go and the truth will begin to rain. Because what you're doing in your mind is you're breaking down old belief systems and you're developing new belief systems. So in our mind, it's taking some time to make that adjustment. But that's what's taking place to say, this is how I'm going after those lies that feel true, believed, are true. But once the awareness comes at man, what I'm believing and thinking might not be true.
Now you start to replace that with the truth of who you really are, regardless of how we feel. And this is the hard part. Right again, our feelings are real. And sometimes you just need to cry. Go for it. Just cry it out. That's okay. Yeah. But don't make a decision out of your feelings. Feel your feels.
[00:28:34] Jessica: Right.
[00:28:34] Tannera: And you need to just, okay, I'm feeling this way. No, it's not good. But God's word says this, right? We have to come back to that place of saying, I'm going to align myself with the Word as my final authority. I'm not going to align myself with this lie because my feelings just feel so real. Right. Again, the feelings are real, but they're not telling you the truth. And so we want to put ourselves back in a place we're aligning with the word of God.
[00:28:57] Jessica: Yeah. It's beautiful.
[00:28:59] Jessica: Beautiful. Tannera, thank you so much for being here. I. I've loved this conversation. And you are definitely going to come back because I know that there is so much more that we can talk about. But, you know, we try to chunk all this in 20, 30 minutes and sometimes Holy Spirit doesn't make that happen, but that means that we just get to have more conversations. So congratulations.
Our friends will, will definitely be hearing from you again. But I love that that we get to talk about and that you've shared with us that when God is asking us to do something that we can see the difference between that and then something that just looks fun because sometimes we really do need to just put it down.
Sometimes it's not ours to carry and we need to know how to recognize that. And you gave us so many wonderful, tangible things to take into our lives that we can take the thoughts captive and do the things which we love. Practicality here. Because if we just talk about it all and we don't know how to do it, then we can't implement it in our lives. So I'm just so thankful for you. So, so, so thankful.
Before we wrap up, I do want to ask you one last question that I ask every guest on the podcast, and that is, what is one perspective you would encourage our friends to apply today?
[00:30:12] Tannera: The one perspective I'd encourage you to apply is know your yes. Take some time to discover what is your yes to in this season of life in which you're living, and it will start to help to define the nos you need to put in place and what you need to structure to ensure you're living out a joyful life.
[00:30:29] Jessica: That's perfect. That's exactly what we need to do. Thank you. Thank you, friend. Maybe there's an I can't that you've been carrying for so long that you haven't thought to ask whether it's still true.
You don't have to turn that into some reason to do more. Just bring it to God. Ask him, is this a boundary that you're asking me to honor, or is this a belief that you're asking me to grow beyond and then actually give him room to answer the question that you might not even realize you needed to ask? If you're looking for a place to grow in your faith and walk alongside other women who are doing the same. I'd love to invite you into the Story Haven. It's a free Christian community where we're learning more about God, spending time in His Word, praying for one another, sharing what he's doing in our lives, meeting new people and building real relationships along the way. You can join
[email protected] or download the app and take it wherever you want to go. And if you have a story of what God is doing in your life, I'd love to hear it. You can reach out to
[email protected] and remember, even small shifts in perspective can lead to big changes. Now go put those perspectives into practice. Talk to you next time.
