Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Speaker A: Hey, friend. Welcome to Perspectives into Practice, a place where life's stories meet practical wisdom. Together, we'll explore how faith filled perspectives can transform the way we live, love, and grow.
So grab a seat, settle in, and join us on this journey to turn inspiration into action.
Let's dive in.
Welcome back to Perspectives into Practice. Today's episode is heavy with holiness and hope. And if you've ever wondered how to keep breathing through heartbreak or how to recognize God's presence when you weren't even looking for him, this conversation is for you. I'm sitting down with my new friend, Shayna, a wife, mama, and beautifully honest soul who has walked through the unthinkable, the loss of her first child. She's here to share how even in that darkness, she began to see signs that she was being held. Maybe not immediately by faith, but by grace that wouldn't let her fall. Welcome, Shayna.
[00:01:06] Speaker B: Oh, my goodness. Bring it on. Good morning. Good afternoon.
[00:01:10] Speaker A: Let's go.
Before we step into those deeper waters, y' all know that I love a good, fun fact. And Shana's fun fact is that she was a competitive synchronized ice skateboard skating team in high school. And I can't grace. Coordination, rhythm. I mean, it's such a beautiful image. How did you. What got you into ice skating in the first place? Was it something you fell in love with or did someone inspire you?
My mom.
[00:01:39] Speaker B: My mom loved ice skating. Oh. And so, yeah, I think I was on the ice by the time I was probably three or four years old. And for. For years, as soon as I was big enough for the little kids to listen to me, I was teaching ice skating lessons.
And then we had a couple coaches that came in and said, hey, why don't we put together a synchronized team? And so me and like 12 or 15 other girls my age, we performed locally, and then we did a little bit of traveling maybe 100 miles away from home and did some competing.
[00:02:15] Speaker A: That's amazing.
[00:02:16] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:02:16] Speaker A: Did you get to wear, like, the fun, sparkly outfits or was it more. I don't even know what. Synchronized ice skating. What is that?
[00:02:26] Speaker B: So as a team, we would do certain steps or footwork or it was very choreographed where you were all spinning in the same direction or I don't know what. Have you. Yes.
[00:02:42] Speaker A: So a dance team on ice?
[00:02:43] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:02:44] Speaker A: Okay. Because I know synchronized swimming, but I've never heard of synchronized ice skating. That is. That's amazing. Cold, but amazing.
Oh, my goodness. Well, with that image of rhythm and grace, I want to step into your story. It's a testimony of how God met you in the ashes and showed you where his light still lives. So thank you for being here and for your willingness to share. Let's begin with your story of Lee. Can you take us back to that season? Tell us what was life like then and how did that grief begin to unfold?
[00:03:20] Speaker B: Yeah. My husband and I had been married for quite a few years, and then it was like, hey, we should have a baby.
And, yeah, that part was easy.
And I was building my business as a coach, an entrepreneur, motivational coaching, mostly. And at the time, it was even geared more towards sales conversations. I was in high gear. Baby was coming then.
He was still porn full term. And it was devastating. Yeah. And at the time, I was not necessarily looking for God. I was doing my own thing. I was. I was finding the successes. I was making the plan and in control. And then this big thing happens, and you're just not in control. And then I had a lot of people ask me, like. Or say, oh, you're so strong, or I don't think I could have done it. Or, like, all the things. All those cliches.
[00:04:16] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:04:16] Speaker B: And then I stopped, and I asked myself, I'm like, how did I survive? I took my maternity leave. I went back to my coaching clients, who, of course, all loved me and helped me, and.
Oh, it was so beautiful. So 16 months later, our rainbow was born.
Yes. And she's just this beautiful miracle. All the things like, she's just so beautiful. All those promises from God. Yeah. In 2024, he was just over a year old, and I was just getting my feet back under me of, like, we made it through that first year.
And I remember on her birthday, I just hugged my husband.
We made it.
Yeah. Did it. Going into that new year, I was like, you know, I'm not the only one who's been through adversity. Yeah. And I was very helped by other women who had been through exactly what I had been through. And so then it was answering the question, how did I survive? Like, what. What was there that I didn't know I needed?
Because we all go through things. We all go through things that cut us off at the knees or that devastate us or that just shake things up now. Then you're left to sift through all that debris.
And so I started going through old notebooks and old trainings that I had been to, whether it was sales trainings or different conventions I had been to. And I'm like, okay, where is it? Like, where is that thing right yeah. And I started, like, doing some of those activities and some of those exercises that I had done before.
Like, okay, I have this in me. Has something changed? Right. Because when you go through another exercise, maybe things change. Right. So you shift that way, or you're like, well, that's not my answer to that question anymore. And you grow and things change. And in that, I found things that I kind of had brought up in some of the questions that you had asked. It was the rediscovering of my faith because I had grown up in the Lutheran Church, and I just, I had started just going the other way again. Like, I'm in control. I'm doing this. I, I, I. And my husband actually said he wanted to go to church. And this is not the man I was expecting to say those words.
It's like, oh, really? Why? And he said at the time it was because he had seen how held I was through all of that. And he said, I don't have any friends.
And he did have some amazing people that had come through the woodwork for him in our time of need. And yet he wanted community. Yeah. And he, he'll say this to this day. He's like, God was not part of that idea to go to church. That was my. An afterthought. He wanted people. Yeah. But God, like, built us for community, right? Yes. And so, yeah, rediscovering my faith then. Then my husband and I got baptized together in 2024. It was a very, very powerful experience.
And just relisting those beliefs for myself and then embodying them.
[00:07:42] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:07:43] Speaker B: And putting God back in, walking through even. I was veering towards kind of that new age mentality of I, I, or the moon or the manifestation or what have you. Yeah. I started putting God back into my affirmations, back into my gratitude, giving him credit. It was fun. It was life changing.
[00:08:06] Speaker A: Yeah. And that's, you know, that's something that a lot of people don't do, is first of all, go back and say, how did I make it through here? What was it that changed about me? What is it that the Lord is wanting to teach me through this?
That's one of the reasons why I have this podcast, is because we all have these different perspectives, and when we ask these questions to ourselves and to the Lord, he gives us the answers that we're looking for if we're listening. And it helps us honestly to go into our life with a new perspective. These shiny little, little tidbits.
So, you know, you shared that you weren't necessarily Seeking God at the time, but you still felt held. And what did that feel like for you?
[00:08:50] Speaker B: A couple ways. So going back to church and then involving myself in a Bible study, the first thing was prayer.
It opened my eyes to having grown up Lutheran, maybe not paying attention, then not being in Church for 10 years or more, realizing that I can pray for what I want, and it's no longer like, oh, you're in my thoughts. Like, no, no, no, no, no.
I can pray for any. And I can pray for anyone. For just all of that really opened that for me. I can pray.
And even recently, a lot of my prayers have just been like, please, God, finish that sentence. Because that's what I got.
[00:09:36] Speaker A: So what were some of the first signs that maybe those little breadcrumbs that you weren't opening alone in it all?
[00:09:43] Speaker B: I feel like God has always spoken to me in just receiving little words. Little. Little phrases. Yeah. One phrase right before we got pregnant with our rainbow baby girl, he said, this child will be clothed in generosity.
And let me tell you, three years in, I don't think I've spent a hundred dollars on her clothing.
[00:10:10] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:10:11] Speaker B: And she was born with a small birthmark, and I'm, like, looking up the meaning. Yeah. And it was on her left palm, and it literally means generosity.
I'm like, okay, God, yes. Yes.
[00:10:29] Speaker A: Oh, my goodness. You know, there's something so powerful about recognizing the grace that shows up before belief even does.
So even in loss, God was already at work in your life. He was leaving these small signs.
And even after the loss. And, you know, you've talked about finding answers that you didn't know that you needed, like baptism and gratitude. So how did those become part of your healing? How did you get there?
[00:10:59] Speaker B: I would say faith was something having grown up with that and then experienced and expanded upon with my husband by my side. Yeah, that was really cool. And then gratitude. I could go on a tangent about that, but it kind of starts because I am. And I actually sent you an email. Not so tech savvy millennial.
And I will blame my parents because I am a baby boomer. And there's not as many baby boomer millennials are. There are Gen X millennials. And so baby boomers are the ones that write cards and thank people for everything and every, like Christmas or birthday or what have you. It was. You write thank you cards the next day.
[00:11:45] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:11:46] Speaker B: So that's where it definitely started. And then from there, I had become involved in a company called Send Out Cards, and their whole mission is gratitude. Been to their trainings and, like, done all that stuff. So it really solidified all of that for me. And then again, just connecting God to it, so giving God credit, that really just put a bow on it for me.
[00:12:10] Speaker A: Yeah. You know, there's something so powerful about putting pen to paper, and it. It slows your brain down. I don't know the science behind it, but I know that for me, when I am writing pen to paper, it slows it down, and I can think about those things and I can pray through the words that are happening. And so I find that that's so powerful that that's what you were doing in that time where maybe you didn't even know what was happening in that moment of this writing, this pen to paper.
[00:12:41] Speaker B: That's so beautiful when especially, like, you're saying pen to paper, it becomes something tangible. And so whether. Whether you're journaling out something that's happened or a prayer or just writing down a beautiful thing, that pen to paper, we cannot lose that. Like, I will die on that hill.
[00:13:03] Speaker A: Yes. I am in probably, I guess, the same generation as you. And the. The us going to the mailbox and having something that had our name on it met someone not only thought about us, but spoke, spent. Even if it was a few cents, because that's how much stamps were back then. They're expensive now, but a few cents to send us. It was the intentionality. It was the pen to paper. It was the. The gracious. It was all of these things, and it just. It makes such a difference in someone's life, and it's so small. It's so small. And I hope that it's never lost. And I actually. We homeschool our kids, and that's one of the things that we instill in them is handwriting.
They're. Yeah, there's so much to say on that, but handwriting and. And being thankful, like great gratitude notes to people, is so powerful. You know, you said that a little back. You said that healing doesn't happen in isolation. So how did connection, both with people and God become part of your restoration?
[00:14:10] Speaker B: It started with actually my sales career. Yeah. And. Yeah. And just being a human and also being a salesperson, because those two things don't always go together.
[00:14:25] Speaker A: Right.
[00:14:26] Speaker B: And. And so just being that human and making those connections, noticing those little things, taking note of Cabis, the. This person just had a new brain. Baby, send them a card. Because I'm a human, not just a salesperson. And then from there, it became something to where. Well, I mean, the world shut down there for a little bit.
[00:14:48] Speaker A: It did.
[00:14:48] Speaker B: What better way to say, hey, I actually see you, than to send them a card? Like the digital touch become, became that much more dull.
[00:14:59] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:14:59] Speaker B: And. Yeah. And when we can fully connect and say, I see you, I'm appreciative of you, and then it becomes, let's go do cool things. Right.
Let's encourage each other. Because even if we check the same box on taxes. Right. Like we're both entrepreneurs, we're both woman owned or what have you. Right.
[00:15:23] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:15:24] Speaker B: We will never do the same thick. They would be the same person. Person. And to remember that in, in how we connect and say, I see you, it's such a beautiful thing.
[00:15:35] Speaker A: Yeah, it is. It is beautiful. And I hear you saying that you intentionally made those connections. You didn't just sit around in your grief wallowing in this, but you made it a point to make other people smile and in the. What's the word?
[00:15:54] Speaker B: Debris.
[00:15:54] Speaker A: Yes. Yeah, yeah. I mean, in, in that you were able to help pick yourself up and be led on the right path, which is absolutely beautiful.
[00:16:04] Speaker B: In grief and trauma. I was able to receive back everything I had sent out and I didn't have to put out if that like. Right. I didn't have to give because I had been doing the heavy lifting of the giving all along.
[00:16:21] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:16:22] Speaker B: And so honestly, like in the last year, year, I've had to restretch that muscle of gratitude and connection because I was in that receiving mode. Yeah. I. I need this. I have nothing to give. Yeah. It was a really cool full circle. And you never know as, as you're giving out gratitude, as you're giving of yourself, as you're connecting, you don't know where it's going to end.
[00:16:47] Speaker A: Right.
[00:16:48] Speaker B: And that's not the point. Yeah.
[00:16:50] Speaker A: We're planting seeds. And in obedience to the Lord, when he says, hey, write this letter, or in those little, you know, still moments when Holy Spirit speaks to us, we're being obedient in that. And you're right. We don't always know what will happen on the other side, but it could change, literally change someone's life.
And we aren't always privy to that. But as long as we are obedient, it comes back. It does. It comes back to us. So for someone listening today who feels like maybe they've lost sight of their anchors because of chaos, debris, as you've said, or sorrow, what would you want them to know?
[00:17:30] Speaker B: First, of course, that they're not alone. Yeah. And they don't have to.
They don't have to do it alone.
[00:17:37] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:17:38] Speaker B: I had a, I had someone ask me, how are you coping? I said through conversation.
Yeah. To also to live in those beliefs and in that gratitude, to just kind of watch your thoughts, not in judgment, but in just in taming that chaos.
Because as we remember what it is that we believe, as we remember what it is that we're grateful for, those things can breed good and more good. Right. They breed the muchness, the stuff of life.
And yes, there are times where negativity and that hurt bubbles up. And so to have that, have those relationships in place where, you know, hey, I can actually say this to this person and they won't take it personally. Right. And they won't like, try and fix it and they'll love me through it. And if you have three friends, like my husband did, he didn't have somebody to say those things to. He had me, which he had me, right? Yes.
[00:18:41] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:18:42] Speaker B: But I was able to disperse that and then circling that back to giving that credit to God can really dissipate a lot of that as well. Yeah.
[00:18:54] Speaker A: Well, and you talked about sharing and the enemy wants us to stay in the darkness. He wants us to stay in our fear, in our grief, in our, you know, woe is me in all of these things. But when we put Christ's light into the darkness, the enemy can't stay there. And so when you're sharing these things, hey, I'm concerned about this. Hey, I'm really dealing with this. I'm worrying about that. Whatever this is, when you are sharing those, whether to the Lord or to a trusted friend, it's powerful. It's absolutely powerful. And that is what we have to do. But sometimes, like you said, it's hard to do that if you don't have those trusted people. But we have a relationship with Christ, we're able to tell him those things like you were talking about. You could pray to any, you could pray about anything because it's a relationship. It's like talking with a friend. So I, I wonder, did you have any scriptures that you maybe leaned on or that kept popping up or just a reminder for that time in your grief that the Lord is with you?
[00:20:00] Speaker B: At the time, I did not, I was not seeking God. I was not opening my Bible. Yeah. And then enter going to church. Right. And kind of just having someone else open the Bible for me for a while. Then when, when your friends are like, oh, yeah, Shane is going to church, let me send her that or remind her of this.
[00:20:23] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:20:23] Speaker B: One was, was definitely First, Thessalonians have gratitude in all things. Yeah, right. Not for all things. Right, yes, but gratitude, it can. It pulls you through all things.
[00:20:40] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. And that's. That's. I think a lot of times when people get scripture twisted is that it doesn't say four.
It's those. Those little words.
[00:20:51] Speaker B: This. Little.
[00:20:52] Speaker A: Little words. It's not for all things. It's in. And things might really, really suck, but God is still good, and he moves everything for our good in his glory. And so he's not creating this debris. He's not creating this. This, you know, turmoil.
But we can still be thankful for him while we're in it for what he has for. For us. So words matter.
Words matter.
[00:21:23] Speaker B: And that's as we. This is something that I. I teach in my sisterhood. And just as a human. And as we stack those things, we paste those layers on of all that gratitude. Like, instead of a list of five things, write 50 things. Yeah, right. Like, really dig deep and go broad and go specific. And like, all the things, as we stack those, they compress and they become part of our foundation.
And so when things happen or the wind blows or that just goes away. The top layer, yes, it might get sifted off, but we stack, we compress, and that becomes an anchor pillar, something we can build on.
[00:22:07] Speaker A: Absolutely. And in.
[00:22:09] Speaker B: It's.
[00:22:09] Speaker A: It's a practice that people, A lot of times women are not great at because there's so many things being thrown at us from all different directions, from all different people.
And when we hear, like, oh, be thankful in everything.
Okay, well, my life sucks right now. I don't have any money. I don't have a job. This is the. You know, like, you have all of these things working against you. And the Bible says, be grateful. How am I supposed to do that? Right. It's starting with gratitude. It's saying, thank you for the sun that is shining today. Thank you that I have my beautiful children. Thank you that you woke me up this morning. It doesn't have to be big. Huge, grandiose Lord, thank you that my life is crap. Like, that's not the point.
But you're right. It's. It's stacking those little, little things over and over and over, and it does. It does compress and become big. And you're like, wow, I really do have an amazing life. Even though it might suck right now. I might be going through something hard right now. The Lord is still with me, and he is satisfying me in this dry land.
[00:23:18] Speaker B: And.
[00:23:18] Speaker A: Yeah, that's so Good. That's so powerful. And that's so powerful.
[00:23:23] Speaker B: You're exactly right. Like, women today, we have so much being thrown at us. The world's chaos, the expectations, the social media, the man, the.
Just all the things. Right.
[00:23:36] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:23:37] Speaker B: And for something to be able to pull us out, to zoom out to where we can say, well, I can have gratitude for that, or I never thought of it that way, to just say, I have that moment for myself and for it to ripple out. Yeah. And. And then it. We could even full circle this to that idea of like, oh, you're so strong and you're so.
No, I've just zoomed out just that little bit. Maybe not in.
Maybe not in the heaviness of trauma and grief, but in the. Hey, this world is just kind of heavy and I need to zoom out so I can be closer to God, so I can be closer to who I'm supposed to be in Him.
You. I'm just going to take over for a minute. You had asked.
You had asked. Is there something I want to leave with these women? And I want to leave them with a prompt. Yeah. Something to think about.
[00:24:39] Speaker A: Great. Because that was my next question.
[00:24:42] Speaker B: I know. I'm like, I'm. I'm here in the process of. And probably by the time you have this published, I. I will have a journal published. Nice. And so I pulled out one of those prompts for you. And that is. What kind or loving words can I say to myself today?
Just enough to pull me out of that debris. Just enough to pull me out of the fact that I haven't showered in four days. You know what I mean? Like, just.
Just enough to set us back with who we are and the vision that has been laid in front of. Of us. Yeah. That.
[00:25:18] Speaker A: That is beautiful. Beautiful. Shayna, thank you so much for your honesty and your grace. Your story holds both deep ache and deep hope. And I think it's exactly where God meets us most powerfully. And, friend, if today's conversation spoke to your heart, whether you're walking through loss, doubt, or just slow healing, I hope it reminded you that grace leaves breadcrumbs and that you are not walking alone. And hey, if you've been listening for a while, or maybe this is your first episode and you felt that little nudge to share your own story. I'd love to hear from you. Perspectives Into Practice is a space for real women sharing how God's shown up in the middle of real life.
So check the link in the show notes and reach out and say, hi, let's chat about what God's been doing in your story.
And remember, even small shifts in perspective lead to big changes. Now go put those perspectives into practice. Talk to you next time.
