Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Speaker A: Hey, friend. Welcome to Perspectives into Practice, a place where life's stories meet practical wisdom. Together, we'll explore how faith filled perspectives can transform the way we live, love, and grow.
So grab a seat, settle in, and join us on this journey to turn inspiration into action.
Let's dive in foreign.
Welcome back to Perspectives into Practice. Today's conversation is a powerful reminder that God meets us in our most desperate places. Not with judgment, but with mercy, presence, and deep healing. I'm here with my new friend, Andy, a woman whose journey through heartbreak, particularly during her divorce, led her to cry out to God in total surrender. And what she discovered wasn't just survival, but the kind of deliverance that only comes from a God whose love endures, endures forever. I can't wait for you to hear how God showed up for her in her closet, in her car, and in the quiet pain that she never expected to walk through. Welcome, Andy.
[00:01:07] Speaker B: Thank you. I'm so excited.
[00:01:09] Speaker A: Yes. This is going to be so good. So before we dive into your story, you guys know I love a good fun fact. And Andy's es muy bueno. She was the keyboardist in the first all girl theano band called Las Venenosas. And even wilder is you didn't even speak Spanish, but you still ended up performing at some of stages as Selena. So. Okay, how did that all come to be?
[00:01:33] Speaker B: I mean, that's a whole nother story. Jessica. Honestly, if you've seen Selena, the dad in Selena, the way he's kind of like a stage dad, I love my dad, God bless him, but he's. He's like that, except I didn't have the talent of Selena, so. Or else, I mean, I probably wouldn't be here, let's be honest. But I was in piano lessons my entire life, my entire childhood, I should say. And so I really learned how to read music and how to do all the things right. We moved from California to Texas when I was 16 years old.
And we just happened to be, I don't know if I'd say the right place at the right time, but to my dad, it was the right place at the right time. We saw a flyer on the wall that said, searching for a female keyboard player. And he was like, oh, you know, that's you. You know. And so we didn't know anything about tejano music. We didn't know anything about the genre or anything like that. But my father was a musician. He is an amazing musician, the best saxophone, flute singer that I have known. But that just bless his heart. It did not trickle down to me into my bones the way I think he thinks it did. But I was taught well, and so I was able to try out. Somehow I made it and I did that. And we traveled for a bit and it was fun. But my senior year in high school, I just told him, dad, I had to hang up the keyboard and focus on school and meet friends and things like that.
[00:03:03] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:03:04] Speaker B: But that was a fun time.
[00:03:06] Speaker A: That's amazing. You know, music is universal. I mean, you don't have to speak any other language to be able to read it, which is beautiful. I love that. Thank you so much for being here. And let's just go right in here. So you went from center stage. Two hidden closets of heartbreak. And what we're going to hear is that your journey reminds us that even in the darkest places, we are not alone. And surrendering to God opens the door to true freedom. You've said that one of your most defining moments in faith came during your divorce, which was a season full of pain, but also holy encounters. Can you take us back into those moments of despair? What was going on? And how were you crying out to God?
[00:03:48] Speaker B: Yes, this was. It feels like a lifetime ago. My divorce was about 19 years ago now. What I realize now is that I tried to make something work that I knew that God did not want for me. Sometimes we try to will our way through things that we know that God doesn't have planned for us or in store for us. That's exactly what I did. I was young. I was new in my walk with the Lord. I still knew him. I was familiar with him, but I was just a baby Christian at the time. My parents came to know the Lord when I left high school to go to college. And so we kind of would go to church sometimes with my mom, but we weren't steady with it. So I. I sort of knew him, but I didn't yet. I didn't have a relationship with him for sure. During the moment in time that I met my ex husband, I did know better. There were definitely signs, there were definitely signals that the Lord was telling me, this, this isn't right.
[00:04:47] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:04:47] Speaker B: And we were unequally yoked. I had a controlling spirit. I admit that now that I just tried to force it to work. I was able to rationalize. And it just. I. It was like I was slowly sipping poison.
And I. I've always had a bit of a rebellious spirit in me. And I know that now as I reflect on myself. And that's just still there. That's how the Lord made me. I know that that's not a mistake either, but it was really there during this time. And so that's what I wanted to talk about today, speaking to maybe younger listeners. If they know the Lord and they know Jesus, there are ways that he.
[00:05:27] Speaker A: Will speak to us.
[00:05:28] Speaker B: I'm now married again and very happy with my. My husband and my family and my children. But what I endured in that marriage was just.
It definitely wasn't what I was supposed to, or maybe it was. I don't know. It's a part of my testimony now.
[00:05:43] Speaker A: Right.
[00:05:43] Speaker B: It was really bad. There was some abuse going on. There was. You know, we both had a very unhealthy relationship with alcohol. There were just a lot of things that I allowed and just kind of turned a blind eye to, just thinking that love was enough.
As my marriage started to crumble, I knew it was crumbling.
I knew it was coming to an end. But it was really.
It was just really hard for me. And there were moments that I thought that maybe I wouldn't even survive it.
So when I talk about my closet, when I talk about my porch, I can visually see myself just in a puddle on my front porch, crying to the Lord, drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes. I mean, just different things. Just trying to take the pain away. Crying, pleading. And it was all what I wanted. It was all, you know, lord, help. Help, you know, restore my marriage. Lord, help us to be able to work this out, Things like that. What I didn't know then that I know now is that we are to come to him and ask for his will to be done and for him to just be with us through that.
[00:06:51] Speaker A: Yeah, absolutely. That's beautiful. You know, we need the reminder that God is close to us even when we're brokenhearted. Especially when we're brokenhearted. And that he doesn't just watch that. He really does come close. And when we're calling out to him, he is listening.
And you're right, the world has a different view of love. And we tend to lean more toward that because it seems easier than what Christ wants for us. And a lot of times when we're going through something hard, it's easier to do the same things and just hope that in the mess that it could be pretty or it could feel better. When God's saying, no, I have something completely different for you, and it's going to be amazing. If you will just so surrender. If you will just let go, if you will just let me do my job and you step out of the way. I wonder how did you begin to sense that closeness with him, even though nothing on the outside had changed yet?
[00:07:50] Speaker B: I think, first of all, just honestly, and I know I keep using this word, but I think just sometimes just surviving through the night was enough for me. And I know that that sounds a little bit dramatic, but sometimes when you're in that kind of pain. And again, I shared with you, Jessica, that there were a few times in my life, and I know I want to focus on this particular time, but there have been a few times in my life where I felt like I maybe wouldn't even make it through the night. And I don't know what that means exactly. It's not that I ever felt like I wanted to take my life or anything like that. I just felt like at moments in my life, even the heartbreak could just have me done.
Do me in.
Even not. Not even related to what I thought it was, love with my ex husband. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't, but there were times where I just needed to survive through the night because of the angst that I felt for somebody that was. That was in my life that was hurting so bad.
[00:08:51] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:08:52] Speaker B: So those were other times where I was in my car, screaming, yelling. I mean, I. It just these emotions that are so big and heavy that in that moment, I honestly, I didn't feel like God was there, you know, But I kept calling to him, begging to him, pleading with him to just help me through it, help our family through it, help this person through it. To circle back around to just knowing sometimes in the moment, I didn't know for sure.
But now I look back on each of those moments and I know that he was there. And I know that he gave me the peace that I needed to sleep.
You know, I know that he gave me the peace that I needed to survive the next day. I told you that I'm a licensed counselor. And even during that time I was a licensed counselor. Having to serve people, putting a face on and just going to work every day, sometimes just making it through those seasons. You know, I look back now, and now the way I live my life is like, okay, God gets all the glory for it, but back then it was like, lord, just help me survive. Just help me survive. And I don't know that I knew to thank him at the end of the day. Yeah, but he sure did. He sure did give me what I needed to make it through those moments. And now I look back and I'm like, wow. All the pieces that he put together, I wish that I had known Back then how beautiful things would turn out.
[00:10:15] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:10:15] Speaker B: And again, I think about all those different little areas.
I wish that I had been able to say, hey, Andy, he's gonna make it. He's gonna help you through it. And it's going to be even better. Not just with the ex, but when my father was very sick and when I had a loved one battling depression and one of my kids was battling anxiety. All those things. I look back and I'm like, wow, God, you were there, and you have multiplied the blessings now.
And he's still doing it. So it's amazing.
[00:10:47] Speaker A: What ultimately helped you to shift from pleading to God to trusting Him?
[00:10:53] Speaker B: I think just again, when I asked having the peace in my heart, that knowing that he was there, it would just build that trust in me, knowing that I was not alone.
I have always been a very independent person who doesn't share a lot with other people. That's why even this is a bit. Is quite vulnerable to me, because I don't talk about this stuff. I tend to be the one in my family that is the strong one and the one that has it together. And I can deal with whatever it is that I'm facing and keep it together for everybody else, including myself.
In these moments, I didn't feel that way. And the only one that I could be vulnerable with was the Lord. He. He was the only one. And the love that I felt from him and I still feel from him, knowing that he loves me even at my ugliest.
And in those moments, too, I look back too, and those are moments that I'm not even. That I'm not proud of. You know, you think of those. Those times and you're like, golly, that was very dramatic and unnecessary. You know, but the Lord never. The Lord never made me feel that way.
The way that the world makes you feel or the way that even your family could possibly make you feel or a loved one could make you feel. He never made me feel that way.
So I think just that peace that I have now in knowing that he loved me through it and also that he got me through it in those times that he still loves me and his love never changed for me. I think that that has been what has helped.
[00:12:21] Speaker A: And you said something profound earlier, that our plans, no matter how hard we try to will them into existence, can never match what God has planned. And that type of surrender is really the only way to real freedom. So can you tell us more about how you learned to stop willing your life into place and really started to surrender and Let it go to God.
[00:12:48] Speaker B: I think that that's an ongoing process for me. But I. I know now that in my relationship with the Lord, it's been. Been. I guess it's been about 20 years now that. That he and I have been walking closer. I understand now that I have to sometimes just be quiet and stop talking and stop trying to do, do, do, and trying to force things. I think I grew up with a mindset that love was enough, that everything would be okay. And there were a lot of things that were done in such a way that. That the factors around me were controlled for me a lot. And so I took on that mindset and I think letting go of the control that mindset has, and I haven't mastered it quite yet. I don't know that I ever will. But I do know I have peace in knowing that when I trust him and that I take my time through it and I'm quiet and I listen and I carve out that time.
He shows up and.
And he doesn't ever not show up. That's. That's the amazing thing is that he's never not shown up. I think that that's the key there is just. Is pray against. I would recommend, you know, anybody pray if you know that you struggle with. With control. That's some. That's probably the first thing to start with. It's related to pride, I believe.
I don't know if that's biblical or not, but I know in my life that. That that's how it shown up. And it's a spirit of humility that I know that I have to take on, that I am not enough. I alone, what's in me is not enough. And so I can only do what I need to do. I can only accomplish what I need to accomplish. Or not even me, what the Lord needs to accomplish with the Holy Spirit that lives in me.
And that's it. And so sometimes when I'm trying to force it, sometimes I need to stop myself and just slow down and say, andy, this is your time that you need to go to your closet. Which I'm in right now.
[00:14:50] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:14:51] Speaker B: Open your Bible, close the world out. Shut all the doors, open your Bible, turn on some music, put away distractions and talk and listen. And he shows up every time.
[00:15:05] Speaker A: Every time. And that's the beauty of a real true relationship with the Lord, is that he is always there for us. And when we take that intentional time to read his word, to pray, to talk to him, to then shut up and listen for when he talks because if we're constantly, like you said, getting rid of distractions, if we're constantly distracted and we're constantly, Lord, me, me, me, me, me, me, me. We have to just stop and go, okay, you and listen and you know, I heard a very powerful illustration of surrender. And it was if I give you something and then I say, okay, can you give that back to me? You're not only handing it back to me, putting it back toward my way, but you're letting go. You're literally releasing and thing that I gave you back and not. And a lot of times I feel like we visualize us surrendering is just, okay, Lord, here it is. You can have it back, but we are white knuckle fisted with it. And we are like, yep, you can have it, but you're gonna have to rip it out of my hands. And we might not.
Yes, yes. And you know, and I don't know if we always like, consciously are thinking that. I really do believe that we. We think that we're giving it back. We think that we're releasing it and surrendering it, but really what we're doing is we're still trying to control the situation and go, I'm gonna say that I'm surrendering it, but my actions, they're not. They're not going with that and reflect that. Exactly, exactly. And the Lord is so gentle and precious with us in those moments. And he's like, when you're ready, I'm here, I'm here. And when you do that, it is so precious. And it might hurt. It might hurt a little. But he is there to help you with your wounds. He is there to pick up the pieces and put them together and hold you. And that is the beauty and the freedom and the healing that happens in that. Even in the pain, it doesn't make all of the pain go away. But you know that you have a safe place in him and that is worth more than anything.
[00:17:18] Speaker B: Yeah. It's worth any more than what the world can give you. And I think that that's. That's one thing that, that breaks my heart right now is just seeing how the world is trying so hard to white knuckle.
[00:17:30] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:17:31] Speaker B: Survival.
[00:17:32] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:17:33] Speaker B: And I just want to shout it from the rooftops. You can't do it. You just can't. You can't do it. There's no other way. And I have a post it that.
That just reminds me, God, what do you want for me today? Or what do you have for me today? And I just have to remind myself Again, that. That is like a control thing for me where I'm just like, okay, it's not me. What do you have for me? What will you present to me, help me to identify it and help me not to go before you? Because that is a thing that, again, with the controlling spirit. I want to go before him.
I want to go. And I'm not. I'm not even doing it on purpose.
[00:18:13] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:18:13] Speaker B: It's like, it's just my nature. And I'm sure a lot of people can relate to that. But, you know, that's the question that I ask is like, okay, is this me or is this the Lord?
[00:18:23] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:18:24] Speaker B: And then I'm really good at rationalizing. I'm really good at rationalizing the why and the how. And, you know, all that. And that's between me and the Lord too. That he is working on me now even is like, andy, have you heard from me first? Okay, then wait and stop.
[00:18:44] Speaker A: Yeah, we live in a microwave society where we're like, we pray, we want it done now. And the Lord's more of a crock pot. He's like, you're just going to have to be patient. But it's going to be so good.
So good. That's beautiful. So, Andy, what would you say to a woman listening right now that feels like everything is falling apart and she's scared to let go?
[00:19:07] Speaker B: My biggest thing, my first thing that I do, that I would do, and this is what I tell even my. My children, is to go to the Lord first.
Try not to go to anyone else, to include yourself, stop and talk to Him.
And even if it's just to repeat his name over and over and over again, I love that I've learned that recently in that in some of those moments of survival, just saying his name, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, over and over again, sometimes that's all that we feel that we can do in those moments. But that. That would be what I would recommend first. First off, and it's not. It's not cliche. It's not. I think the world tries to simplify prayer, but what I've come to realize is I've. I've also learned more about spiritual warfare in my last few years. And I. Again, I wish I had known about that back when I was dealing with what I was dealing with.
But that's. That's huge. And it's. It's a much bigger thing than what we can see with our naked eye. And just know that when you pray, that is much more powerful than anything else than you can really even think of. And. And, you know, people try to again, say, you know, oh, prayers and thoughts, prayers and thoughts. And it's so flippant now, but the truth is, I don't need or want anything from anybody else these days than. Than a genuine prayer.
[00:20:30] Speaker A: Right.
[00:20:30] Speaker B: Especially if. If you have a good relationship with the Lord and I, that's. That's powerful. So I think in that moment and taking it, taking just a breather, honestly, too, I think that, you know, what I'm talking about is willing your way through it. Try not to do that, because again, as a therapist, all. Everything that I talk about happens. It goes back to, you know, behavior modification and things like that. I've worked with foster care, foster care for a lot of years. And so some of it is, you know, there's a. There's a process, like a de. Escalation process.
And, you know, you. Sometimes what. What won't happen is you just like, escalate and like, you know, if you keep going and you're. You're still heated, you're still emotional, you're still upset, whatever, nothing good will come of that. Sometimes you need to just stop and breathe.
And then once you are able to talk to the Lord, don't try to force your way through it, because sometimes what you think might happen, the positive might happen, it doesn't happen. And then you'll look back on that and maybe blame God for that.
And it wasn't God. It was us.
And so I think it's important to just take a moment to try to calm down first before you make a move. Talk to the Lord and then listen. And sometimes you don't hear anything, and that's okay, too.
But taking that moment and having reverence for Him, I think is important, too, to just acknowledge him and then he'll help you through that moment. And then to know something that my mom taught me, that her mom taught her, is that it's going to pass. This too shall pass. Again, there were moments where it's like, oh, man, this pain is so heavy. It's never going to go away.
And it will. It will go away, and it maybe won't fully, fully go away. It's bearable.
And sometimes it does fully go away. And then do your best to try to come back to the Lord and thank him for that. You know, I'm really big on gratitude and thanking him and remembering that that's a part of your story. He doesn't waste our stories.
[00:22:43] Speaker A: Nothing is wasted. Andy, thank you so much. You're.
This has Been. This has been just a gift. Absolutely. And. But as we wrap up, I want to ask you a question that I ask every guest here, and that is, what is one perspective that you would encourage listeners to apply today?
[00:23:01] Speaker B: I would say. And again, I bring it back to being a parent coaching counselor. I would say one thing that I teach foster parents is when you have a child, you have to meet them where they are, not the reverse, not expect them to meet your demands.
The Lord will meet us where we are, too. I wish that there was a way that I could communicate this to even some loved ones that I believe are not fully submitting their life to the Lord because they feel like they're not ready or they feel like they aren't good enough yet. They have kind of a black and white mentality. I have a couple people that come to mind right away that have been heavy on my heart to give their life to the Lord. And the beautiful thing about Jesus is that he will meet us where we are. He doesn't expect us to come perfect. And I know that we hear that all the time, but it's true.
And in my ugly, in my pain and distress, in those locations that I can see in my head right now, he was there.
And I didn't have to wait until I was perfect. And at that moment, I didn't care. I just wanted to survive it. But I wish that I could have told my younger self back then that I was still good enough for the Lord in that moment. And there were times that it still took me some time to fully surrender to the Lord. And that's why I say it's a process. It's not just an immediate thing. But just come take one step toward him every day. Take one step toward him and he'll meet you where you are. You don't have to be ready. Just have an open heart to love him and, and, and accept Him.
[00:24:42] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:24:43] Speaker B: And he will meet you exactly where you are.
[00:24:46] Speaker A: That is beautiful. Beautifully said. Thank you so much. I know that your words are going to help someone that needs it today. Because we all need to be reminded that we are not alone in what we're going through. And that when we speak up and we share, things change. And when we truly surrender to the Lord and allow him to do his.
His will, not our will, that's where that. That really is where that freedom comes from. So, friend, if you are in a season and you're listening here and you feel like it's all lost, please don't forget that God is close to the brokenhearted and surrender might just be the door to your healing. And I want to invite you if you're listening and thinking, hey, I have a story I'd love to hear from you. Perspectives into Practice is about real stories, real faith, and real transformation. And your journey could be the encouragement that someone else needs. Whether you've walked through something hard, learned a life changing lesson, or simply want to share what God is moving in your everyday life, I invite you to be a guest on our show. It's fun. Here you can find the link.
You can find the link to apply in the show notes or reach out to me directly. I would love to connect with you. And remember, even small shifts in perspective can lead to big changes. Now go put those perspectives into practice. Talk to you next time.
