Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Hey, friend. Welcome to Perspectives into Practice, a place where life's stories meet practical wisdom. Together, we'll explore how faith filled perspectives can transform the way we live, love and grow.
[00:00:17] So grab a seat, settle in, and join us on this journey to turn inspiration into action.
[00:00:24] Let's dive in.
[00:00:29] That's okay. Hey, friend. Welcome back to Perspectives into Practice. Today it's just me and I want to talk to you about something I think so many of us experience.
[00:00:40] It's this tricky place of tension where God's given you a yes about something, maybe a promise or a dream, but it still hasn't come to pass. I call these yes but not quite seasons. And I'm going to talk about and explain, explain what that means in a moment. Here's another layer of that. While we wait, many of us disqualify ourselves. We think that we can't step forward until we're ready.
[00:01:06] Whether that's writing a book, leading a group, launching a podcast, or sharing your story.
[00:01:13] You know, we wait until we feel perfect. But here's the truth. Your imperfections don't disqualify you because God already qualified you. If he called you, he qualified you.
[00:01:27] So if you've ever been in the hallway of waiting, wondering if you are enough to start or worthy to be used, this episode is for you. So, you know, I start every episode with a fun fact for my guest. But today, because it's just me, my fun fact is that by the time this airs, my husband and I will have celebrated 18 years of marriage. One, eight. That is amazing. We've actually been together for 20 years and it has been a beautiful journey of growth and grace and learning to say yes to God and each other every single day. I'm so blessed and honored to be his wife, the mother of our wonderful children.
[00:02:12] And that's fun. And that's fun in and of itself. So let's dive in. So what do we do when God has said yes, but we're still in that not quite. And what if we feel disqualified even while we wait? So let's talk through this deeper truth together. Because feeling unqualified is often where God begins his best work. Many of you may not know this, but 10 years ago, I was in.
[00:02:41] About 10 years ago, I was deep in birth work. I had just been accepted to midwifery school. I was teaching weekly childbirth education classes and offering doula services. And I had invested thousands of dollars into books and training. Everything in my life to that point pointed towards a continuing a maternity business. It was thriving at that Point, I was loving it. My kids were growing up. It just seemed to be the right time.
[00:03:15] I truly believed that it was an answer to prayer. And then one random day in 2017, a little later, God called me into ministry. I remember sitting on my couch crying, thinking that God had called the wrong girl. I didn't know what that meant. I didn't know how to begin. I didn't think that I had anything that he would need to do that. I. I mean, I'm deep in birth work. I'm talking about labor and delivery and dilation and all the.
[00:03:49] All of those things. Working with your body and informed consent. And I wasn't thinking ministry work. However, I did pray over every single client that I had, whether they knew it or not. I did use that as my ministry. So it was so strange to me that the Lord was pulling me out of something that I thought was so valuable and precious into something unknown and already saturated with so many wonderful Christian ministry women. But I felt led to write devotionals and eventually speak to women across the country.
[00:04:30] But I wasn't a writer, and I had been on worship teams before, but I had never spoken or taught from a stage. So when the Holy Spirit whispered that you're going to be an author and a speaker, I was shocked, to say the least. I was confused. I thought, was I on the wrong path? Did I hear wrong? Was I making this all about me? I had no idea. Well, a few days later, I wandered into an aisle at the grocery store that I had never been down. Did you know that grocery stores sell books and socks now you do. And you know, there it was, a bright teal book titled 100 Things God Loves about you. And it jumped off the shelf.
[00:05:16] I picked it up, I flipped through a couple pages, read through a couple of the devotions in there, and smiled from the inside out. I knew that I needed to share these little bits of wisdom, Wisdom with others.
[00:05:30] So I brought it home and started praying over how I was going to use it to bless others. It sat on my nightstand. Then I moved it to the kitchen and then to the couch and back to my nightstand, not knowing what to do with it. Until finally I heard Holy Spirit say, just do it. I'm like, of course. Just do it. Easy enough.
[00:05:53] How.
[00:05:54] How am I supposed to do this? Who am I supposed to send this to? What am I supposed to write?
[00:05:59] I had no idea.
[00:06:01] And so I did. I just started, started sending out daily emails with devotions from that book. I let them know, hey, I found this amazing book. I Would love to start sending emails. And many people gave me their email address for that. And I thought that was so awesome. And it wasn't even my words, but I knew that it was in obedience. And so I was starting small. I sent one email a day for 100 days. That was my goal I had set. And at first, it was all the book's words. I typed in what the book said and let them know again, like, hey, these aren't my words. These are from this wonderful book. I hope this blesses you, praying for you.
[00:06:46] That's it, right?
[00:06:48] Because I had no idea what to do. And bit by bit, day by day, added my own thoughts into it at the end of each of the devotionals. And then sometimes I would rewrite some of the devotional and let them know, hey, I'm adding some of my own in here. So they knew the whole time that it was this book. And then a little bit of Jessica. Well, really, it was a little bit of Holy Spirit, because it was at that point, it was not me writing these words, which was just beautiful because as I would read it back, it would bless me. And that's when you know that you're not writing, you're allowing Holy Spirit. So by day, 50, people were replying, asking to hear for more of me. And I absolutely did not want to give them what they were asking because I didn't know. I thought, there's no way that I could write one of these by myself. There's just no way. But that's when I finally leaned in fully and began writing from the heart. I prayed over it each session as I would sit down and write, and it was terrifying. But it was also thrilling again because I knew that I was being obedient even in this small step. When I started this ministry, I asked the Holy Spirit to guide me. The emails worked, and I praise God, I made it to day 100, which is a feat if you've ever set out to do any sort of writing lesson or assignment for 100 days in a row.
[00:08:20] It's daunting because I sent these at 6:00am I think it was 6:00am every single morning. So I had to make sure that the whole day before I was praying and asking the Lord, what am I going to send tomorrow? What do they want to hear? What do they need to hear? I honestly had no plan beyond those 100 days. I just knew, this is what I need to do. Holy Spirit said, just do it. And I did it. So 100 days came and went and I didn't know how to be an author and a speaker. I just wanted to remind women that they weren't alone, that Christ is enough, and that their stories matter. And I made sure to weave that in every single email that I sent on my own after 50, that it wasn't the book anymore, it was me and the Lord. And later, a little bit later, I was at a worship, a women's leadership conference, and I met a woman who shared my vision. And it was so amazing to meet her. It was such a Holy Spirit, God led moment. And without boring you with all the details, there was a lot of times that I actually didn't even, I wasn't even going to make it there. There was so many things that the enemy was pulling me in a million directions. A kid got hurt. Like it was a long story. And the fact that I was there for this moment was just perfect.
[00:09:42] Together we worked on an eight week Bible study focused on writing stories and sharing God's word. And it was so wonderful and I loved it. So I set up a meeting at the church that I was going to at this time. And I pitched it, but when I arrived, the person that I was supposed to meet wasn't there. It was someone else. And so I thought, well, they're immediately going to say no because they don't know any of the backstory, so why am I even here, right? So immediately disappointed, discouraged, and went along with it anyway. I was like, hey, here's my idea, here's this thing, I'd love to do it, what do you think? And she approved it. She said, yep, go ahead, that sounds great. So I did. Six women joined that study. And I was so encouraged seeing these women come in from the beginning to the end. The transformation in them from just this little bit was amazing. So I returned a couple weeks later and was like, hey, I'd love to do this for the next semester. And they said no. I was like, wait, what was I wrong in this? Was I only supposed to do it for this one? Like, what about all these other women that need this transformation, that they need these words in here? Was I following Jesus or following justice? Jessica? Like, did I get caught up in the momentum of everything? It just gets so excited and why, why was it a yes and then it was a no? Well, in my quiet time, I cried out to the Lord, asking him, why did you bring me? Why did you call me to be an author and speaker and then start out with baby devotionals that wasn't even mine. But then it was a little bit of my Work, but then a hundred days is after, and then I don't hear from you, and then I meet this wonderful lady and we start this study at my church. And it's great. And it goes for one cycle of eight weeks with these amazing women.
[00:11:39] And then nothing. I didn't understand it.
[00:11:43] So I asked those questions in my quiet time with him, and I felt him gently say, yes, you were called a midwifery, but not quite.
[00:11:53] Yes, you were called to send those emails, but not quite. Yes, you were to lead that Bible study, but not quite. Spoiler alert. I continued to have these yes, but not quite moments with God.
[00:12:09] And those emails, well, I did write all 100 and turn them into my first two devotionals. I rewrote them all.
[00:12:19] And that Bible study I helped with, well, I studied a lot more. It was very intentional. I went through some pastoral trainings and I wrote an entire conference with 21 sessions in it. And that conference was turned into an online course and that online course now into a book. And that's just the ministry side of things. So in life, he showed me a series of yes but not quite moments too, each one preparing me for the next. Had I given up in that first setback or the second or the third, I never would be where I am today.
[00:13:02] So instead of giving in, I gave it up all to God. God did not meet me in my perfection. He met me in my surrender.
[00:13:14] I didn't feel ready, but I was willing. And he used that. Maybe you feel that you have to be flawless before you step into what he's asked you.
[00:13:26] But Scripture reminds us in so many different verses. In 2 Corinthians, he says, my grace is sufficient for you.
[00:13:37] My power is made perfect in weakness.
[00:13:41] And in Romans 8, he says, those he called, he also justified.
[00:13:47] So even in the waiting, God is preparing you. Even in your weakness, his strength shines through. We have to give him the opportunity. We have to say yes in those moments where he's asked us. We have to be obedient in the small things to see him bring into fruition the big things that he's called us to. Every phase and moment in our lives consists of these yes, but not quite instances. And you have to ask, is it possible that God has us wait because there is significant worth in the periods between his promises coming to fruition?
[00:14:34] You know, reflecting on my own journey, I have contemplated all of it, trying to understand its importance so that I could share it with others.
[00:14:42] And for me, in my life, it looked like cancer to healing. Then my parents divorced to a broken family and feeling rejected turned into an eating disorder to take control dabbling with alcohol to numb out from an abusive stepdad to running away meeting and marrying my best friend to acceptance having a brain injury to forced dependence on others, being called into ministry to isolation adventures on purpose are traveling to freedom in contentment which has been absolutely amazing creating made whole conference book all the things to sharing Christ with women all over the country and now this podcast is part of all of that. You know, even when we fail, God can use us. Because God never fails. His mercies are new every day and are so much grander than our mistakes. Friend, you are very wrong if you think that you are powerful enough to change your life's course by screwing up. You're just not that powerful. Sorry. Spoiler alert. Lots of spoiler alerts here. You know, when we move out from under His Word, things always go awry. But when we stay grounded on His Word and surrender our plans to him, it always works out like it should. Always.
[00:16:18] And that's why being obedient, pressing forward, saying yes, sticking close to him, surrendering to his will and his plan for your life, being patient and waiting on the Lord. Whether you're in that yes or that not quite season, God's not finished with you. Let me speak directly to your heart, friend. You are allowed to show up messy.
[00:16:45] You are allowed to start before you feel ready.
[00:16:49] You are qualified not because of your resume or your past or your perfection.
[00:16:57] You're qualified because the Holy Spirit lives in you.
[00:17:02] Romans 8:11 says, the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you. And that same spirit empowers you. You're not doing this alone. You're qualified because your story has been redeemed in Revelation 12. It reminds us that they overcome by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony.
[00:17:24] Your story, even the messy parts, matter.
[00:17:29] And you being obedient, even in the mess, even in the unknown, is part of that. You're qualified because you said yes.
[00:17:38] Isaiah 6:8 says, Here I am.
[00:17:42] Send me. And God honors your willingness, not your perfection. He's looking for the woman who says yes even when they're trembling. And that's powerful, my friends. You are qualified because you encourage others.
[00:17:58] And you do. First, Thessalonians 5:11 tells us, encourage one another and build each other up. You have a heart that lifts people.
[00:18:09] That matters more than then, you know.
[00:18:13] Have you ever smiled at someone in the grocery store and they say, wow, that made my day, or just said hi to someone or felt like you needed to give someone a hug, and they're like, wow, I really needed this. You're encouraging others. You are qualified because you are gifted. God didn't leave you out. First Corinthians 12 reminds us that there are different kinds of gifts, but the same spirit distributes them. So you've got a role to play, friend. You are qualified because you were created for good works. Ephesians 2:10 says, you are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which he prepared in advance for you to do. It's already in motion.
[00:19:00] You just have to do it. Get it? Just do it. You are qualified, friend, because you walk in the legacy of women God has used.
[00:19:08] Think of Deborah or Priscilla, Mary Magdalene. These women stepped up in faith, and you are part of the same story. And maybe this one hits the deepest because I know.
[00:19:23] I know it does for me. You are qualified because you've been broken and still chosen. Second Corinthians says, we have this treasure in jars of clay. Fragile, yes, but filled with glory. Friend, if the Lord is nudging your heart to start a Bible study, write that devotional. Tell your story.
[00:19:48] Talk to a friend.
[00:19:50] Or maybe it's chat with me on a podcast.
[00:19:53] This is your confirmation.
[00:19:55] Just do it. So if you're in a yes but not quite season, or if you've been feeling disqualified, I want you to remember this, that God is not looking for polished. He's looking for the willing. You know, every podcast I ask a perspective. What's one perspective that you would encourage listeners to apply today?
[00:20:19] And here's mine. You don't have to feel ready to be chosen because you already are. Show up anyway. Even when your voice shakes, Speak. Even if you feel small, stand. Even if you feel under qualified, remember who qualifies you. If someone came to mind while listening to this, or something came to mind that you're supposed to be obedient in. Do that thing. Share this with your friends. You never know how your obedience can unlock freedom for someone else and yourself. I love you, friend. I am rooting for you.
[00:20:55] Will you reach out and let me know what you said yes to this week?
[00:20:59] Or maybe you're in that. Not quite. I'd love to pray for you and pray with you. And remember that even small shifts in perspective can lead to big changes. Now go put those perspectives into practice. Talk to you next time.
