Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Speaker A: Hey, friend.
[00:00:02] Speaker B: Welcome to Perspectives into Practice, a place where life's stories meet practical wisdom. Together, we'll explore how faith filled perspectives can transform the way we live, love, and grow. So grab a seat, settle in, and join us on this journey to turn inspiration into action. Let's dive in.
Hey, friends, welcome back to Perspectives into Practice. If you joined us for the last episode, you heard my friend Amanda's amazing, incredible story about learning how to hear God's voice and stepping out into obedience. But here's the thing. Hearing God's voice is just the beginning. Because once we hear him, he often calls us to surrender in ways that we never expected. And that is exactly what we're talking about today. But before we dive in, Amanda, do you have another fun fact for us?
[00:01:03] Speaker A: Yes. I used it a little bit in the last episode, but yeah, I also am an artist, so I paint.
I paint a lot. I do. Not a whole lot with it. Until recently. I'm going to start selling them, but I think painting. I didn't actually know I could paint until I was 26 or maybe somewhere around there. And I got watercolors and in Waco, Texas, and we were out there visiting the silos out there, and I was like, you know what? I'm gonna get these watercolors. I just thought I was gonna, like, have fun. And I thought it was gonna be kind of cool. And I painted something and it was okay, but I was like, okay, well, watercolor is not my favorite. I'm gonna try acrylic. And my husband was like, you. You can paint. And I was like, no, I can't really paint. He's like, you can paint. You need to do something. So I was in my late 20s and I found that out, and I've been painting ever since. And I've been getting better ever since, which is the cool thing.
[00:02:03] Speaker B: So, yeah.
[00:02:04] Speaker A: Yeah, I love painting.
[00:02:06] Speaker B: That is so awesome. Do you do, like, smaller things? Big things? Do you, like, have a series, a theme? What.
[00:02:12] Speaker A: What. Yeah. What is my. My.
[00:02:14] Speaker B: What is your idea for. For your art?
[00:02:18] Speaker A: Yeah, so I prefer birds. As you can see behind me. I have one that's not quite done. This white one over here. This is going to be.
[00:02:26] Speaker B: I do see the birds.
[00:02:27] Speaker A: Yeah. So I still got to put his eyes in his slow beak on him. But I. I love bluebirds. So years ago, a friend prophesied over me and said, you're a blue. Not years ago, maybe even. I don't know how long ago it was. But anyway, she's like, you're a Bluebird for the Lord. And I. I still don't fully know what that means, but she said that she's like, you're singing. They're a singing bird. And she said that the Lord just loves to hear you sing. And so I'm just obsessed with bluebirds. I don't know if that's why or if I just think they're pretty, but I love to paint bluebirds. But I also just paint birds in general, so I love swans also. That's my second favorite to paint.
[00:03:04] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:03:05] Speaker A: And I'm really into black backgrounds because it's so normal to find, like, a white background. And I just love the contrast of black. It just makes all the colors, I don't know, pop off the page.
[00:03:18] Speaker B: So, anyways, that's exactly it. That's what I was thinking.
[00:03:21] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:03:22] Speaker B: Yeah. So y'all. Y'all are listening, but I can actually see in a video with her that she has some of her art behind, and it is. It is so pretty, and I love it. And I do love the back background because it does. It makes it just, like, pop off, which is great. Maybe when I. When we post this, you can send me some pictures and I can post it up on the instas. Yeah, people can see all this beauty.
[00:03:47] Speaker A: Yeah, I'll send them to you.
[00:03:48] Speaker B: Yeah. So. Okay. So quick recap. So last time we talked, we talked about Amanda's obedience in her story, and we are today going to talk about a time that God spoke to you and asked you to do something that maybe didn't seem to make sense at the time.
[00:04:08] Speaker A: Yes. So, as I said before, my relationship with the Lord has kind of been this beautiful dance. I would say it's a push and pull, because, you know, on one hand, he's just so good and so gracious, and he gives us these great things. And then on the other hand, he's like, hey, that over there. I need you to go ahead and put that down at my feet. And that has always kind of been the story. I think it's a story for most people who've walked with the Lord. They could probably relate to that. But for me, I think that has been something that has constantly come back to play. And, you know, recently, actually, I would say more recently, the Lord had asked. He had given me the word surrender. This is a couple years ago.
And I remember honestly being offended because I was like, surrender? Are you for real? Because here's the thing is, like, my whole life, I've, like, married who he said to marry and lived where he said to live and taken the jobs he said to take and turn down the jobs he said not to. And so, yeah, I kind of self righteously was like, excuse me, I have done everything, you know, that you have asked me to do. And he was like, no, I want a deeper level of surrender. This is, this is not where we're at anymore. And at the time I was working in this career job in sales and not at all my niche by nature. You know, like I said before, I tend to lean a lot more towards like creative types things.
[00:05:46] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:05:46] Speaker A: But this job fell into my lap. It was such a good paying job. I mean, it was the most I'd ever made. And quite frankly, it was more than like both of us had ever made in one year, you know, so it was like a really big paying job. And um, it was a little bit of safety and security because there had been some other things, some personal things that had gone on that had really like shifted my trust, I would say, of, you know, people or the Lord. In certain ways. I kind of went through a season of like, wait a second, you know, what is it that I firmly implanted on because of all of those trials? And so here I am, like, I'm finally like somewhat, I would say, secure, you know.
[00:06:28] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:06:29] Speaker A: Which obviously is when the Lord's like, okay, just kidding. Yeah.
[00:06:34] Speaker B: He's like, he likes to mix it up.
[00:06:37] Speaker A: So he, you know, I know. I knew going into this, this job I had been offered a property and it was one of the most lucrative in the entire country. And I've been offered this property and felt like the Lord said it was not in a place I wanted to move, but the Lord said, I want you to move there and I want you to take that job. And I. I didn't know at the time how much I would make. I only knew what I made prior. And so I kind of was assuming it'll just be the same, it'll be a wash, you know.
[00:07:06] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:07:06] Speaker A: Ended up being not that at all. And the Lord really blessed us in a lot of ways through that job.
But I knew going into it that it was not forever, that he was more calling us to the place than to job. And honestly, why? It was a. It's not a town anyone would ever know. In Texas, at least I didn't know. I didn't think it was that big of a deal. And we had come here and traveled here before when we were traveling on the road in our RV and we weren't impressed, honestly. We were like, this is not for us. We don't like Texas. We want to live in.
[00:07:43] Speaker B: It's hot.
Oh, duh. Yeah.
[00:07:47] Speaker A: You know, like, come on. If we're gonna live in the heat, we need some ocean.
[00:07:50] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:07:50] Speaker A: More ocean lovers. So, you know, so here I am, I'm in this job, and I know it's not forever. And the Lord told me when I first moved there, you'll. You'll leave in a. On a. You know, in February. At some point in time, it'll be February. And so I kind of thought it was going to be the first February we lived there. So I kind of prepared myself. And he was like, no, no. And that job ended up being. So I grew so much in my confidence in the Lord and my awareness of people and just knowing the patterns of people and kind of how they handle conflict. How to do it well. How to do it not well at all.
[00:08:29] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:08:30] Speaker A: And I had learned that in other seasons, but this was, like, an intense training on that, and it was. It was a lot. And so, you know, the Lord in the fall just. I was in my time with the Lord, and he said, I want you to. I want you to quit. And your last day is going to be February 28th. And interesting fact, when you're in sales and you put in your. You know, you quit, most people just leave. They stop working that day, and they don't come back or say, finish out your week and you need to be out of here because they don't want you telling people that, are there anything bad?
[00:09:07] Speaker B: Sure. Right.
[00:09:08] Speaker A: You know, so anyway, so unless you're someone that I would say that they're not worried about that with, they would. They would tell you, you know, you have your time. But I've never seen that happen. And so anyways, all that to be said, the Lord gave me a day. He said, February 28th. I thought, that's ludicrous. I'm not doing that. And I really wrestled with it. This was in, like, October. And I was like, absolutely not. Like, we can't afford it. You know, I made 70%, probably, of our income. It was no less than 60%, but it wasn't more than 70%. So it was. It was a big chunk of our income. And I'm like, we bought a house out here. Like, how can we afford to live? And I remember the stakes being so high in my heart and in my mind. And the Lord said to me, I mean, if you cannot give this up, see, I have something so good for you on the other side of this, because there are dreams in your Heart. And I want to make those dreams a reality. But if you cannot give this up, I cannot give you those things. Now, you will not be sinning against me if you choose to stay here, because I'm allowing you the choice. But I'm asking you to partner with me and to release this thing that you think is so such a protection for you so that I can give you something that actually will fill your soul. Because right now, this job does nothing for you because you're not growing and you're dealing with people who are not necessary for you to wrestle with. This is not an important. You know, and kind of in my heart, I'm thinking, I want to move up to corporate. I want to do all these things when, you know, I could. I probably could have done all of those things that we won't know because I quit. But.
But, you know, I. I felt like I had spoiler alert, you know, this thing that I couldn't give up. And, you know, I just really felt his heart in that. Him saying, like, I want to give you these good things. And so, you know, my thing is, like, it's probably a spoiler, but for anyone who knows me, they know I'm gonna be obedient because that's just my personality. Not my personality. That's my. The posture that I've chosen. I want my heart to be. And so when it hurts, I'm like, that. I'm gonna do it. Even if you have to drag me through the door, I will be there.
[00:11:27] Speaker B: So.
[00:11:27] Speaker A: So. And it really was. By the time the day came around, though, I was just ready. But. But anyways, that's before we even get there. I would say, too, you know, when I put in my notice and I did it the way that I felt like the Lord asked me to do, he gave me clear instructions, put in a notice, tell them you're gonna. You have two more weeks, and then you're gonna be done. And the two weeks when I really, you know, that. That Last day was February 28th. And I didn't even really plan that. That was just kind of like I knew that I needed to put my notice in on this Friday, that Friday. And then I calculated. I'm like, oh, my Gosh, it's the 28th. But I was thinking, oh, I'm never going to work till that date, because they always make people leave, right? Like, okay, pack your bags and let's go. So I sent that letter. Of course, my boss calls me my. The. The woman who oversees all of the. That side of the Country. You know, they all called me and they're like, where is this coming from? You know, wait, what can we do? And I said, the Lord asked me to surrender this. There's nothing you can do to talk me out of or into anything.
And, you know, we were able to have a discussion about things, you know, that, you know, I had experienced. And it was a good conversation, and I kind of prepared myself. I had already cleared out my office, and they said, no, we want you to finish out your two weeks, and we want you to stay. And so your last day will be the 28th. And that's so crazy to me because, like I said before, I'd seen many people quit, and I'd seen people quit well and poorly, and never had I seen it. It was only me and one other friend. We quit around the same time, and we were the only people that they did.
And her and I are still friends to this day. And so I think, you know, obviously the Lord covered that, and I think they saw integrity on that side that they felt that they could, you know, keep me on. And so all that to be said, the day came. I'm so ready to walk out of those doors. I'm so excited. I felt relief because I had been battling this back and forth of like, do I stay? Do I go? Do I stay? You know, do I want to partner with the Lord and see what he has, or am I willing to just settle here? Yeah. And, you know, I could. I'll share more in a little bit about it, but in the moment, it was like, okay, I was so thankful that I had released it. Yeah. But, you know, didn't necessarily work out the way that I planned. And that was the part where I grew even.
[00:14:01] Speaker B: So what do you think? He was trying to teach you something in that surrender, was there something you were taking away? Maybe a shift in perspective? Or did he bring you to a different season or is now a season of wait? What does that look like now?
[00:14:18] Speaker A: He was absolutely trying to teach me something.
1.
He was. I think it was a test of my trust in him, because neither way would it have been. He was like, hey, you can partner with me. And honestly, in. In and of itself, that is, you know, the Lord does test and. And correct the child that he loves, you know, and so I felt like he was saying to me, like, hey, you can do this and you can trust me. You don't have to. You don't have to do anything. So I think even in that there it was moving beyond kind of that stage where You. You're told to do something, and you do it into the stage where I know this will honor his heart, and I want to do this. So it was kind of growing me a maturity and saying, like, where are you? You know, are you wanting to do this because you just want to honor me? Are you doing this because, you know, it's a yes or no situation, and you're wrong if you say no.
And so I think that was a huge part of it. And on the other side of it, I really did think that he, you know, I had given up on art. I write, I've written music, and I even recorded it at one point in time and, you know, had the opportunity to do more with it, and I just really. I didn't. I was so. Because I grew up in such a brokenness, I was so, like, focused on providing, you know, for myself or for my family that I completely forgotten to dream with the Lord or even myself, just be like, this is fun. I'd love to do this. And so I think he really wanted to give me that. But there was a waiting period. And in that waiting period, we. And I don't even know that we've gone into depth with this, because we haven't, you know, just. I don't know that we've talked about this, but to be very vulnerable, it almost like it was like everything was on the table. Like, we could. We could have lost our home. There were weeks when we didn't have grocery money. You know, there were weeks when I remember just crying out to the Lord. I'm like, hey, I honored you in this. Like, I did what you said, and it didn't turn out the way that, you know, knowing God's voice doesn't always mean that it's going to turn out a way that feels good or that looks good or that is to the world. Right? Yeah. You know?
[00:16:36] Speaker B: Right.
[00:16:37] Speaker A: And so I've really learned in that, too, of, like, trusting him in surrendering control and knowing that even if it doesn't look on the earth like it's supposed to look like in my mind, that it's still being faithful to him. And I learned that in that, too. Um, I will say I felt very like. I felt like a failure, you know, as a mother, as a someone who, like, had a good job and got rid of it, you know, like, who does that? You know? And then, you know, here you are with all of these pieces, and I'm just like, God, what. What is going on? And so even in that, he taught me he's I'm faithful and I have things for you. And sometimes it looks a lot like breaking, but instead he's actually building and it's just, it doesn't look like my kingdom because it's his.
[00:17:27] Speaker B: Yeah, well. And in surrender, a lot of times the Lord is working on pruning the things that need to go away. And they might not necessarily be bad things, they're just things that are not going to help the success of you growing and maturing and, and producing much fruit. And put. Pruning is not fun. It's not easy. And there is moaning and groaning, but there's goodness and there's beautiful fruit on the other side. And if we can make it through.
But that's what it sounds like that might, might have been happening. Is, is a pruning going on. And I, I, I am hoping that we continue to hear about what this fruit is that he's working on with you, because that, that pruning season is, is difficult. So how did the, that impact your heart? We've talked about listening to him, but, like, how did that impact your heart and your trust? Still with him, this for a while.
[00:18:30] Speaker A: But I wasn't able to really pull it out in, in context that probably would make sense to anyone but me and the Lord. And in that season, I realized that I really struggled with the anger of, with anger in general, but I internalize it so much so no one would really, like, see that probably. But I, inside, when I'm disappointed, I'm just so angry, you know, and it's like, I don't, there's also like, the generational side of it. So my, you know, in our lineage, the women tend to struggle with bitterness, but bitterness is rooted in, in unforgiveness and anger. So, you know, it starts out like, I'm angry, and then you don't forgive, and then, and then you get bitter, and then this cycle just continues. And I think he was revealing that to me in that season because there were so many times and I, I was honest with the Lord. I was like, look, I hate this season. I don't know why I'm here. You know, I never, I would encourage anyone to, like, don't shy away from being authentic because you can show up and be fake and like, oh, everything's fine, everything's great. But you know what? God doesn't care about that. He used David and he'll use anyone. And David was an adulterous man who killed someone because he, you know, he did all the things right and he was Like, I don't want to find out. And God still used him. And so if you're not showing up authentic, there's not really a point to show up, because God isn't fooled. And, no, neither is anyone else who's discerning. So just show up authentic. And I was honest with him. I'm like, this sucks. This is the worst. Like, you know, I kind of had my job. My job era, you know? Like, I.
Like, I'm in the thick of it. And, you know, sometimes some of my friends that I did confide in maybe didn't say the things that. Like, maybe they were like, Job and maybe, you know, how even Job's wife was like, you're so stupid. Like, just give up. What is wrong with you? So even. Even in the thick of that when, you know, I think it's hard sometimes to relate to somebody who's, like, really grieving. Like, we don't really know what to say or we don't know how to handle it. But anyways, I really felt like the Lord gave me a lot of permission to be, you know, authentic and to tell him how I felt. And in that, I think I learned all of those things. Things like that my anger wasn't holy before the Lord and that he was like, actually, that has to go if you're going to do all these other beautiful things that can't carry with you. And that.
Yeah, it was super hard to. To be honest with myself about that.
[00:21:08] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:21:09] Speaker A: Because I really didn't want to believe that. I really struggled in that area.
So, yeah, he pruned that. And then also my need for comfort.
Hate that one. Yeah, that's the truth. I really like comfort. Like, who doesn't? But I don't like the pressure of I give up on my art, in my writing and all these things, because when it gets hard and there's any pressure, I'm like, okay, I'm good. I will stop here. But God's like, no, that is the evidence of something I'm doing. And if you can't push past that, you'll never see anything. And that was like. I mean, I feel like he throat punches a lot. He's just, like, in with it, you know, a little bit of, like, you know, grace in this. And he's like, you are.
[00:21:55] Speaker B: Could I have a water break, please.
[00:22:00] Speaker A: A second?
[00:22:01] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:22:03] Speaker A: So I felt. I felt a lot of, like, him saying, like, no, that's not gonna work. This needs to go. That needs to go. And that was really, really hard.
[00:22:15] Speaker B: So for someone fighting and Struggling with this surrender. For someone that's going through this, this season of surrender, and maybe it's a pruning season, or they really do feel like the Lord is asking them to let these things go. What encouragement would you give them? And. And how can they walk that out in their daily life?
[00:22:36] Speaker A: Yeah.
One, I would say, and I. This isn't always possible, but I would say, you know, get. It's really important to have community when God is doing something inside of your heart.
It is really good to have community better than jobs. So get you some people that love you and that are honest with you and. But they don't judge you for being broken, because we're all broken. I think it's really, really underrated to have good friends that can really speak life into you because it can be really hard to find. So when that's not possible, speak truth over yourself and be really dedicated to the truth, even when it hurts. But don't be stuck there, you know, get. Get past that and, and get truth into your heart. And God loves you. He's for you. He wants to see growth. He doesn't always want to see what's their state, but he's for the person that he created. And go after that. Go after everyone is broken. And so once you can just kind of accept that, like we're all broken and we're all messy, it makes it less painful to say, like, oh yeah, you know, I struggle with anger or this person struggles with that. We all struggle with something. And so get really honest with yourself and then let it be what it is. Don't make it something that it isn't. You know, don't let the enemy come in and like, well, that's who you'll always be. And yes, keep it just as it is.
[00:24:05] Speaker B: It's not your identity, exactly.
[00:24:07] Speaker A: You're a sinner who Jesus loves, period. And we all are. So everyone's on the same playing field. And so your sin is just a signal that he's like, hey, let's not have this. This I am better for you.
And, and I would say to get really, be really. Be careful with influence. That's the word I'm looking for. Be careful what influence you have. Some people or some things that you're, you know, maybe they're a magazine or an article or whatever, they're really gonna hone in on something. And a lot of that is just stuff you don't need. You just gotta know God's voice, know what he's saying to you. Be obedient. To it. Get his word in your heart and let all of the rest of that go away. Because some people who are not you and have not walked through something, it's kind of like someone who struggles with infatuation, infertility by someone who has seven kids. And the person with seven kids is like, well, you gotta just try this. And it's like, well, I've tried everything, you know, and I've walked with friends through that. And it's really hard. There's not a fix for that. Some of your life circumstances, there is no fix for. And if you have people constantly telling you, well, if you just do this, well, if you just do that, it's like you don't know what you're talking about because you've never struggled with this.
[00:25:25] Speaker B: And so I think it's really setting boundaries for those. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:25:29] Speaker A: Be intentional with your boundaries and, and what you're putting into your spirit. Another thing I really had to do from my personal experience was be careful what I was allowing in. Whether it was like I got rid of social media, I kind of got rid of a lot of things, you know, certain shows or whatever, because I just needed. There's already enough darkness inside of me at that time that I just needed only truth. I'm like, I can't handle any more darkness. I just need truth inside of my heart. And because, you know, depression is a thief and it'll come if you let it. And so you just really have to be very proactive, you know, in suffering in general.
[00:26:13] Speaker B: So were. Are there any scriptures that you can give our ladies that might help them as they're walking through this?
[00:26:20] Speaker A: Oh, that's a good one. I. As I said before, I love any psalm. Interestingly enough, Psalm 23 was really good for me when I was a young kid. So silly, but I don't know why it was so comforting. When I was a young kid, I was so afraid. I wasn't actually that young. I was 16. I was driving. And when I got home our. I had a car and it didn't go up our driveway. We had a gravel driveway and you couldn't get the car up the driveway anyways. It was a long driveway. It was like a half a mile or something.
[00:26:52] Speaker B: Oh my goodness.
[00:26:53] Speaker A: I got home after dark. I'm not gonna lie. I was. I was afraid of the dark. I was very afraid of the dark. And we lived in the middle of nowhere, so we had bears. I'd been chased by a bear.
[00:27:03] Speaker B: Oh my goodness.
[00:27:04] Speaker A: We had all the things. We had mountain Lions and all. So, you know, I would literally just over and over and over and over again pray and. And I would just speak scripture over my heart because I was just so afraid of getting mauled by a bear or whatever. Yeah. And I would just over and over again, even though I walk through the valley of shadow death, I will fear no evil because God is with me. His run and his staff comfort me. And I would just say it over and over and over and over and over again as I'm walking up this hill. And later on in life, when I've gone through really heavy and dark seasons, I have spoken that over my heart. Like, I will not fear. You are with me, you are run, your stuff. They're my comfort. Like, I can trust you, that you're good, that you have green pastures ahead for me, that I'm going to lay down in praise the Lord because I need it right now, not my green pasture. I just would speak that over my heart. And it's so funny because I think sometimes with psalms or like a scripture that someone will quote a lot, you know, it gets so like, oh, yeah, we know that. We know that. But if you have into it, it's like he was so like in the Lord. And so I tried to remind myself about that. I can. You. You are someone who I could be confident in or you are the king that I could be confident in seven or 6,000 years ago or 3,000 years ago. Two, one, it doesn't matter. You always will be. And today it's not different. And so I would speak that over my heart. And that was. Honestly, sometimes that was the honey I needed just to get my heart. Okay. Enough to, like, wake up for a day.
[00:28:47] Speaker B: Yeah. Oh, that's so good. So my last question is, what is a perspective that you could give these ladies to. To. To put into practice today when it comes to surrender?
[00:29:00] Speaker A: Oh, God is so trustworthy. Even if it doesn't look right now good at all, he is so trustworthy because I have been in valleys, I have been in thick depression, I have walked through so many things, and I am so thankful that he's partnered with me in all of those seasons. But he is so trustworthy. And anytime that he prunes, anytime he. Anytime he disciplines, anytime he does any of these things, it's for us. He has our heart and mind. And so just nobody's trustworthy. And know that even if people say otherwise, that he's still good and he still has your best interest. Always. Always.
[00:29:47] Speaker B: Oh, Amanda, thank you. Thank you again for coming on and sharing with us. I am so glad that you've been here with us, friends. If you enjoyed this episode, I would love for you to follow the podcast, share it with a friend who needs some encouragement today. I'm sure we can all think of someone who is maybe going through a season of surrender and could really just use some uplifting. This. This is. This is the one to share. And remember that even the small shifts in perspective can lead to big changes. Now go put those perspectives into practice. Talk to you next time.
