Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Jessica: Hey, friend. Welcome to Perspectives into Practice, a place where life's stories meet practical wisdom. Together, we'll explore how faith filled perspectives can transform the way we live, love, and grow.
So grab a seat, settle in, and join us on this journey to turn inspiration into action.
Let's dive in foreign.
Welcome back to Perspectives in the Practice. Today's conversation is one that I think will resonate with so many of you. Because life has a way of bringing seasons that we never planned for. Sometimes it feels like everything is changing all at once. We experience loss and unexpected transitions, health challenges, shifting family dynamics. And suddenly we find oursel asking God, where are you in all of this? And while we might not always get the answer that we want, God often gives us something even better. His presence. Today I get to chat with my new friend, Angela. And over the last few years, she's walked through the loss of both of her parents, watched her oldest child move away to another country, faced health challenges all on her own, and found herself navigating a season filled with uncertainty. Yet in the middle of all those changes, God has been teaching her something beautiful about his goodness, his faithfulness, and the reality that his goodness and mercy are still pursuing us, even when we struggle to see it. Welcome, Angela. I am so glad that you're here.
[00:01:33] Angela: I'm so glad to be on. Thank you for having me.
[00:01:36] Jessica: Yes.
So before we dive in, y' all know I love a good fun fact. And Angela, you have a black belt and a type of martial arts that I've never heard of and I didn't even want to try to pronounce, but I think it's one of my. One of the most fun, like kick butt fun facts we've had on this podcast. So of course I have to ask, how did you get involved in martial arts? And then what made you stay to earn a black belt?
[00:02:03] Angela: Well, okay, so I was homeschooling my kids at the time, and we needed to figure out a fun pe thing to do. And so I wanted to get them involved in martial arts. I just thought it would be fun. And so I have some friends who taught martial arts in a different town. And they were, I was saying, hey, what do you know about Kook Seoul Wan martial arts? And they said, it is. They dug in. They actually called the master at the place and said, yes, he's the real deal. Go do it. So I went to sign my kids up and it was around Mother's Day and they were having a free thing for mothers, and they said, hey, why don't you Try it with them and see if you like it. And so I tried it and I liked it.
[00:02:47] Jessica: That's awesome.
[00:02:48] Angela: Yeah. And so it hooked me in, so it was something I could do with my kids. And then of course, because of who I am, I ended up being asked if I would be an assistant instructor. So I got to be an assistant instructor and loved, loved, loved every second of it.
Unfortunately, I injured my foot, so I ended up stepping out. But I do have my black belt in Kuksul Wan martial arts. It's from South Korea.
[00:03:15] Jessica: Wow, that's amazing.
[00:03:17] Angela: Yes.
[00:03:17] Jessica: I've never heard of that one. That's just. That's amazing. I have so many follow up questions, but that's so, so, so cool. We, my kids dabbled in martial arts for a little bit before we started, before we started traveling. We did a Krav Maga and Jiu jitsu.
[00:03:36] Angela: There you go.
[00:03:36] Jessica: It was Krav Maga and Jiu jitsu is what we tried. Because, I don't know, maybe other people, I mean, when you're in the homeschool world, they, you know, they do kind of influence you of, hey, this is what we do. I'm like, great, awesome. More community. And I love that. So one of, one of the things, though, I do remember is that, is that martial arts requires a lot of that discipline and the perseverance and continuing to show up, even when Phil. When progress feels slow, which it often does, especially with those things.
And it's so much like our walk in faith. Right. Because trusting God in difficult seasons, often it's one. You know, it's not always just one big moment. It's these little things that just seem to pile up. But we keep choosing him every single day. And that's where our faith grows, and that's where we get our black belt in Jesus.
[00:04:27] Angela: Yes.
[00:04:29] Jessica: It's just so great.
[00:04:30] Angela: Yes. I love, I think the thing about martial arts, there's a couple of things, but some of the things that you learn is just that it's not ever failure. It's just a first attempt in learning. And so every time you make a mistake, you just get back up off the mat and try again. And that's the beautiful thing about our Christian faith is God's not gonna beat us for hitting the ground. He's. He's gonna say, okay, child, let me help you back up and let's go at it again.
[00:04:59] Jessica: Yeah, exactly, exactly. I.
That's beautiful. Beautiful transition. I love that. So you have shared with me that you are in a season of transition. Now, so what does that season look like for you right now?
[00:05:13] Angela: Well, as you said in the intro, I have over the last couple years, I've lost both of my parents. It was a 15 month period.
I have seen my oldest child fly the nest and moved to South Korea, which is a long ways away.
And yes, I have. Even my youngest now has graduated high school and so I'm going to end up in the empty nest syndrome. So now I, my youngest has graduated high school, I'm going to be an empty nester, figuring all of that out and then on top of that, experiencing the fact that for lack of a better term, I'm an orphan now. I don't have my parents to help support or guide me anymore. So all of that is, it's just a lot learning a new season and seeing the Lord work even there, where it's a season you necessarily didn't want to have part of it. And then the other part is it's a brand new season with new opportunities.
[00:06:16] Jessica: Yeah. Yeah. I think there's a lot of women, especially our friends, listening, that find themselves carrying a lot of hard things at once. And sometimes it's just overwhelming because you try to navigate it all faithfully, but some things fall through the crack. So with the loss of both of your parents and then your oldest moving overseas and the health challenge, where has God been or what has God been teaching you about trust in this season?
[00:06:43] Angela: Oh, yeah. That he is faithful and that I can trust in him. But also, I think too often as believers, we want to think that we already have all the answers and we want to go, yeah, God's trustworthy. And we kind of skip the whole, this is really, really hard. And I don't like this portion. And so he's been telling me that I can, that as a believer, I can trust the Lord, but I can also cry out and say, I don't understand.
This doesn't feel fair.
This isn't what I expect affected and lament to him as long as I am coming to him.
[00:07:23] Jessica: Yeah. And that actually goes perfectly with the story that you shared about a moment with your dad near the end of his life. You were reciting Psalm 23 over him. Can you take us back to that moment? I know it's a sacred memory, but I would love for our listeners to hear what happened there.
[00:07:39] Angela: Yeah. So my dad had dementia and he was at a place in, in his fight with dementia. I guess for lack of a better term, that he had not really opened his eyes much for about 24 hours. Hadn't said much that made a whole lot of sense, but he was getting really agitated as he was laying in his bed and sometimes even almost sitting up. And we didn't want him to fall out. And so the chaplain that had been working with him had told me when he was a little bit healthier, that he had been reciting Psalm 23 with him. And that seemed to help relax him. And so I'm standing over my dad's bed reciting Psalm 23, you know, and you start, the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. And I'm having this conversation with the Lord, like God right here. I have a lot of wants, you know, and so as I'm reciting this, this psalm, I'm also telling the Lord what I'm. I'm having in my head. I'm having this conversation that this doesn't feel comfortable. I don't. It doesn't feel restful. It doesn't feel, you know, all of these things. And you get to end where it says, surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life. And my thought is, oh, oh, goodness, Lord, I don't know what goodness looks like here, but I sure do know what mercy looks like here. And I know that mercy is going to mean that you're going to be taking my dad home sometime soon and then come to the end and you say, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord. And. And I'm just thinking, that's where my dad's going to get to be. And then my dad says the last word and he says, forever.
And so it was like the Lord was just right there with me, saying, yes, it is merciful that your dad is going to be leaving soon. But I know where he's going, and he knows where he's going.
[00:09:34] Jessica: That's so beautiful. I feel like that's just a gift that God gave you that you'll never forget. Just such a precious moment that even. Even in his. His mind not fully being there, he had lucidity enough with Jesus because he was closer, closer than we are right now. And just. Just so beautiful. So how. How has that. That interaction just right there. How has God reshaped your understanding of his goodness? Through grief.
[00:10:04] Angela: Yeah. His nearness is so valuable. And realizing that first thing, he resides in us, and so he's always with us.
But him being willing to show me that he was present in that special way just was. Was so comforting.
And it reminded me of what he tells us in. In. I believe it's second corinthians. Just that God comforts us so that we can comfort others. And so that's why it's such a joy to share this so sacred story. Because God was there with me and my dad in that moment. And he will be with you in all of your moments.
He is chasing after you with goodness and mercy, and he does have a place for you to dwell forever. But he's also always with us. Even in that valley of the shadow of death.
[00:10:55] Jessica: Yeah, absolutely. And you're right, goodness looks different than what we usually expect.
Right. And I'm sure that in, in. In our times of need and concern, we want to it to just be fixed. We want it to be in our earthly understanding of fixed. But his understanding is a lot different than ours. And we don't know what is all going on in the background, but he is good and faithful and merciful every, every bit of the way.
And it reminds me of first you. You mentioned earlier in Lamentations 3, and just the.
The importance of bringing these things to God. Honestly. So what has God been teaching you about Lament through that, that scripture?
[00:11:40] Angela: Yeah, so It's. It's Lamentations 3, and he's, you know, complaining about all the terrible things that are happening. And honestly, he even admits that all of these terrible things that are happening are a result of Israel's sin. And then he says, but this I bring to mind, and therefore I have hope. The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases. His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning. Great is your faithfulness. And he goes on to talk about how the Lord is his portion. And then after he says that, he goes back to complaining to the Lord about how terrible things are.
And so I love this because God is saying, look, I already know how you feel about this situation. I know the thoughts in your head.
Take them to me. Because I'm the only one who can do anything about it anyway. Because I am the Creator of the universe, because I am sovereign, because I am the only one who can comfort you here.
And then he reminds us of his character. So often we are staring at our circumstances so long that we forget to stare at our Lord and see his loveliness and his beauty and his character, even in the midst of the hard things. Yeah, so, yeah. So he's been teaching me, lament, cry out, be honest, but also never stop looking at my beauty and my loveliness.
[00:13:07] Jessica: It reminds me of the story of Habakkuk. Habakkuk, however you say it, tomato, tomato.
But where He. He is. He's doing that, too. He's like, there's all these terrible things that are happening to me, around me, from me. Like, however, no matter what bad is going on in my life, I will still worship you. Even if the. The flowers don't bloom and the fig tree never produces it, even if the rivers and water runs dry, you are still good. And I will worship you. I will praise you. And I think that that's. That's something that we constantly need reminders of, is that he is. He is faithful and good to hear all of our complaints, but he is also even more to receive our praise and our thanksgiving and our gratitude. In. In the circumstances, maybe not necessarily for. Right. We don't want to say thank you, Lord, for this terrible time, but in that terrible time, in our wilderness seasons, we can come before him and lament and cry out and say, I don't like this. And he is so gentle to just hold you and go, I know, but do you trust me? Right? Do you trust me in the next one? He is still sovereign no matter what we're going through. And I think that there's a. Christians, we struggle in knowing how to grieve honestly while still holding on to hope.
[00:14:30] Angela: Yes.
[00:14:31] Jessica: That's hard.
[00:14:32] Angela: Yes. And let's be honest, because sometimes, I mean, we. Not even sometimes, we know we serve a God who is able to do the impossible things. And so, you know, I'm standing over my dad, and I worship a God who could choose to completely heal him of his Lewy Body dementia on this planet, or he could take him and heal him in eternity. Yeah. So how do you love a God who's able to give you the desires of your heart and isn't at that point?
But I think sometimes our desires of our hearts, we don't even really know what they are.
[00:15:09] Jessica: Right, right. Right. No, we don't.
[00:15:11] Angela: You.
[00:15:11] Jessica: You said something that really stood out to me. You said, when I call to mind who God is, then I have hope. In that vein, how do we. How do you. And how do we practically shift our focus from circumstances back to God when life does feel heavy and everything is just coming all in at once?
[00:15:31] Angela: Such a good question. I don't think that there's one or two simple ways necessarily. I think we can all do it in a lot of different ways. One thing is just making sure we really are spending time either in God's word or if we can't, because sometimes when things are so hard, it's hard to open the word, turn on, worship Music that extols who God is. Not the kind that's just about me, but the kind that about is really about who God is.
Because the things that our mind dwells on are the things that are going to shape our day whether we want them to or not. So if we're constantly dwelling on, oh, my gosh, my parents are sick and they're dying and this is not fair, and this is really hard, and that's all we say and all we do. Where is God in that? We don't see his hope, we don't see his light, we don't see his beauty. But if we wake up in the morning and we say, thank you, Lord, for this day, you are good, you are faithful, I know you can do all things. I trust that you are working all things out for the good of those who love you. Even if I don't see it now. Help my unbelief. Those are honest prayers and those are ways of focusing our eyes on who God is and what he's done for us.
Another way is remember, go back and remind yourself, how has God worked in my life? What are. Where are some of those moments where I know God has intersected my life in special ways? Because that's why God is reminding the Israel all the time. Remember I. I brought you out of Egypt. Remember we crossed the Red Sea? Remember I fed you with manna. Remember? And we think, why is God having to remind them of this? That's all amazing things. It's the same thing in our lives. What are the amazing things that God has done? Because he has done amazing things in your life. And if you can't remember what they are, you don't know. Ask God to show you a lot of the things that we think are odd or weird or happenstance. That's really God intersecting your life. And he has been active in your life. And so look for the ways he's been active. Remember who he is and know what he has done.
[00:17:44] Jessica: That's beautiful. We far too often forget. And that's exactly where the Israelites were. Even as God was providing exactly what they needed, they were still complaining and forgot all of the good, like what he just literally brought them out of.
Then they're like, oh, well, we don't need to complain about that anymore. We want to complain that you're just giving us honey and dry bread. But how often do we do that same thing? What rhythms do you implement that keep your heart anchored in uncertain seasons?
[00:18:17] Angela: Yeah, you've got to stay in his word. I. However you do it.
[00:18:21] Jessica: If.
[00:18:22] Angela: Is it a devotional, is it one verse a day, is it a Bible reading plan?
But the one way that you know that you're really focusing on who God is is by being in his word, because that is his. That is how he has revealed Himself to humanity. So that's, that's one of the biggest ways.
Another rhythm routine is just making sure you really are spending time in prayer with the Lord every day. It doesn't have to be. I'm spending one hour on my knees.
Most of my prayers are as I go along my day prayers. And that's, that is. There's nothing wrong with a prayer that you're sitting still for an hour for or a prayer that you're doing along your day.
What prayer is, is an opportunity for you to turn your heart and mind to the Lord and talk to him. But also it's an attitude of listening to him as well. And so that attitude can be struck as you're washing laundry, as you're driving to the store, as you're working.
And so calling out to him and, and spending time in His Word are important. And of course, I mean other fellow believers who are going to lift you up and encourage you are important as well.
[00:19:38] Jessica: Yeah, I love that. I, I often that that's my, my three things that if I am ever sharing that or ever asked or you know, even on podcasts, it's, it seems so simple. And I even say that is that we, we make it too complicated. I think we, we make following the Lord, being a Christian, having this relationship with him, we make it too complicated. And it's not, it's reading His Word like you said, which we make also too complicated because it doesn't have to be sitting down and spending four hours studying it. It can be, you know, memorizing a little bit. It can be reading one scripture at a time and just meditating on that throughout your day. I mean, it doesn't. Listening to the Bible, even if you don't even have the brain capacity to read it yourself, let. There are so many apps out there to let you read it. But you're right, we can't know who God is and what he's he's got for us if we don't know those things. And so yes, read your Bible, talk to Him. And one thing that I have learned that has really helped is fasting. Sometimes when we're in those seasons, if we ask Lord, is this, is this the time that we, that I need to be fasting? What does that look like? It can be so pivotal in those moments because it really does bring you even closer to him, because it helps you to focus more on him. But again, whether there was the acronym kiss. Keep it simple, sister.
Keep it simple. Because we make it. We make it so, so hard. But it doesn't have to be. Life is already hard enough. God did not give us this beautiful relationship with him to just put more on our plate. He says, my yoke is easy and
[00:21:17] Angela: my burden is light.
[00:21:19] Jessica: Yes, he does.
[00:21:20] Angela: And Jessica, I'll even say this, I think that often it's even simpler than we give ourselves credit for, because to, like, we don't think about what we're listening to or what we're watching or it's just part of our everyday life. Like, some people literally wake up and the first thing they do is turn on the tv or they wake up and they fell asleep to the TV, so the TV's still on. But if that is the soundtrack of your home or the soundtrack of your life, then no wonder you're stressed and anxious all the time, because what's on TV is kind of crazy a lot of times, right? So maybe it's turn off the TV and turn on a different radio station. Maybe it's. I love true crime podcasts, but maybe it's fewer true crime podcasts and more listening to edifying podcasts or even just praise and worship music. Or like you said, just turn on the Bible and have it go audio. Because the soundtrack of your life does matter.
And if you are constantly listening to things that are anxiety provoking and that kind of thing, yes, you're gonna, it's gonna be harder to go through these harder and darker times because all you're listening to are things that stress you out and not bringing and not listening to things about the Lord, who is the only one who can make a difference.
[00:22:43] Jessica: Exactly. And something that has come to my mind that I feel like I need to share is that sometimes when we're in a wilderness season, when we're in this, these very hard seasons where we don't know how we're going to get out or where the light is at the end of the tunnel, sometimes we just want to wallow in our grief and our sadness. And I want to give permission to those that are listening. It's okay to do that. It's absolutely okay to be mad. You. We're not what we. I, I just pray that you are not hearing us say that you need to be joyful and happy about all the circumstances in your life. What I'M saying is, what we're. We're trying to get you to. To see is that even though life sucks sometimes, God never does. And he is always there for us. And so he wants to hear the good and the bad and the ugly and the cries and the tears and the woe is Me. And he wants to hear it all. And when we give him those burdens, he does take them from us and he lightens the load so that we can rejoice in our suffering. So if you just need a moment to be sad and mad, it's okay. And God loves you regardless, regardless of what your thoughts are, he is there for you and he wants to hear all of these things from you. He already. He already knows what you're thinking, but he loves to hear it from you. Just like a child in a parent relationship, we know if our kids have done wrong, we just would love to hear it from them. Right? Or if they're sad, sometimes they just need to come to us and then it just blossoms into this beautiful relationship. So I hope you that are listening just can understand and relate to. It's okay to not have it all together, but you don't have to stay there, I think, is what Angela and I are, are getting to in this. So, Angela, if there is someone listening today who is struggling to see God's goodness in their own circumstances, what. What would you like them to know?
[00:24:42] Angela: Just like you said, God wants to hear your doubts, your confusion, your. I don't understand.
I mean, look at the book of Job, right? God's words of, of condemnation were not for Job who was like, I don't understand. I don't think this is fair. I wish I'd never been born. All of those things. His words of condemnation were for his friends who said, hey, you're experiencing this because of sin.
[00:25:09] Jessica: Yeah.
[00:25:09] Angela: So come to the Lord. But then also, here's the other thing I want you to hear.
We often don't have eyes to see the light because the darkness is so deep. So it's okay to say, God, I don't see your goodness and your mercy here. Show me God.
You say that you have, that you're following after me with goodness and mercy. I don't see it here. Show me. Because you're not. What you're doing is you're not challenging God and you're not saying, I don't, I don't believe you, Lord. And I'm mad at. You know, and maybe you are mad and it's okay to be mad too, but. But what you're really saying is you're saying, God, I want to believe, and I'm help my unbelief. Yeah, help my unbelief.
[00:25:50] Jessica: And.
[00:25:50] Angela: And the Lord will be faithful to that. And I'm not going to say it's going to happen overnight. I'm not going to say it's going to happen like a lightning strike. But I will tell you this. When you come to the Lord, you will walk away blessed and you will walk away changed.
And. And when you come to him, you're close enough to hear him whisper words of encouragement, sometimes even correction, but you will have comfort and hope because you are coming to the God of all Comfort.
[00:26:19] Jessica: Yes. Oh, Angela, this has been just such a beautiful conversation. Thank you for sharing both the hard parts and the hope that you found in the middle of everything that's going on. And one thing that just stand out to me, and we're, you know, have mentioned it several times, is just the picture of. Of God's goodness and his mercy that pursues us. Not. Not just on the easy days, not just when everything makes sense, but in the grief and the uncertainty and the moments where we wonder where he is. And I just. I'm so thankful for you and. And your time here. So as we wrap up, I want to ask you one question that I ask every guest, and that is, what is one perspective that you would encourage listeners to apply today?
[00:27:04] Angela: Know without the shadow of a doubt that God really is following you with goodness and mercy. And if you don't see it and you don't feel it, ask him to show you, and he will love that friend.
[00:27:17] Jessica: I hope this conversation encouraged you today. Maybe you're walking through grief. Maybe you're facing a season of transition. Maybe you're carrying questions that don't yet have answers. I hope that you'll remember that God's goodness and mercy are still pursuing you even when you can't see it, even when you don't understand it, and even when the road ahead feels uncertain. Keep bringing your heart to Him. Keep focusing on who he is and keep trusting that he is faithful. Before we go, you know that if you've been listening for any part of this time, maybe you've got a story on your heart that you would love to share. I would love to hear from you. This podcast is built on real stories and real perspectives, and there's someone out there that needs to hear what God has been doing in your life. So reach out to me at Perspectives in a Practice Dot Com. I want to hear from you. And remember, even small shifts in perspective can lead to big changes. Now go put those perspectives into practice. Talk to you next time.
