Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Speaker A: Hey, friend, welcome to Perspectives into Practice, a place where life's stories meet practical wisdom. Together, we'll explore how faith filled perspectives can transform the way we live, love, and grow. So grab a seat, settle in, and join us on this journey to turn inspiration into action. Let's dive in foreign.
[00:00:29] Speaker B: Hey, friends, welcome back to Perspectives into Practice. Today I'm sitting down with my friend Alana to talk about something that we all experience. The unexpected. Life has a way of throwing curveballs, and the way that we prepare our hearts can make all the difference in how we handle them. Alana, welcome.
[00:00:49] Speaker C: Thank you. Thank you.
[00:00:51] Speaker B: So Alanna is the mom of five amazing kiddos, which means that she knows a thing or two about managing the unexpected. So tell us, Alanna, what is one of the biggest surprises motherboard motherhood has brought to you?
[00:01:06] Speaker C: Well, rewinding all the way back to before motherhood, really, motherhood itself can be a surprise for a lot of newly married young women.
And I think when I was really thinking about, like, what is the biggest surprises of motherhood? It was motherhood itself.
With Camden, our first, I. I was probably five months pregnant before I realized I was pregnant.
[00:01:39] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh.
[00:01:41] Speaker C: I was playing volleyball in college.
I was, you know, like, not expecting to be accepted.
[00:01:49] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:01:51] Speaker C: And I mean, a lot of women don't realize, like, you can have a period every month. You can just be going on about life as. As normal. And so that was just a huge, like, I thought I had the flu.
[00:02:05] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[00:02:06] Speaker C: And I went to the doctor, and they were like, guess what, you're pregnant. And also, do you want to know what you're having? And I was like, I'm not far along. Like, it was just motherhood itself. For a lot of women, it's like they.
They just are not. Are not ready for that moment, no matter what season that they're in. So, yeah, for me, that was. That was like my thing that I was like, yeah, I want to. I want to share what that's like to be. To be in a great relationship and to be in a situation and want to be a mom, but then when it hits you in an unexpected way.
[00:02:45] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:02:46] Speaker C: How to shift, how to pivot, how to. How to get prepared.
[00:02:53] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:02:53] Speaker B: Because life has a way of surprising us, and sometimes those surprises test our faith in ways that we never expected. So I want to hear about this time that you faced this and how did it challenge you? And how did you see God move in that moment?
[00:03:10] Speaker C: I, of course, wanted to be a mom. The timing of it was.
It Was. It was crappy. Like I said, I was playing volleyball in college. I was on scholarship, and I just had to stop and sit down and say, this is a blessing. Like, when things happen unexpected in our life, we, a lot of times even, like good things, we see them as an inconvenience, and we could see them as a trial.
And I thank God through, Through. Through. The first four pregnancies, by the way, were not planned. I was on birth control with all four of my boys. And I'm very careful about how I share that in front of them because it sounds like I wasn't planning for them. Yeah, it sounds like to them, it could be processed, like, mom didn't want me.
But I have talked through that with each of them, and I'm like, just because we don't, we think that we're not ready for something. God knows exactly what we need when we need it. And every situation in my life, when I was able to shift that perspective, it really helps me view anything in my life not as a trial, but as a. It really is a blessing. Like, if you really do believe the word of God, that he knows the plans that he has for us, he knows how to train us. He knows what we need. I was like, also, this is prepared. Like, with every child, I am a better person. Like, I am. They have significantly increased, like, the joy in my life. And I could have looked at it as heartache. I could have looked at it like, this is stopping my career. I could have, like, all the things that moms have to process. Like, yeah, I have to sacrifice this. Because as a Christian, not having this kid is not an option. But, like, it can really, if you're not careful, it can really plant a seed of bitterness in your heart.
[00:05:29] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:05:30] Speaker C: That just got me a little bit. Like, it can, like, which the enemy can use in motherhood to plant a seed of bitterness between you as a mom and your kids.
[00:05:41] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:05:42] Speaker C: And that a lot of moms would have a really hard time admitting that.
But it happens. Like, when you're not prepared for a child and when you can't shift gears, it puts a seed of bitterness. And so as I was praying through this, I was like, as for me as a mom, like, I just want to pray for the moms out there that have a seed of bitterness about how they got pregnant or when they got pregnant or what they had to sacrifice because of a pregnancy, because of motherhood. Like, God help us to change our perspective to. This is a blessing. This is something that brings joy into my life. And, like, just to be able to shift gears, because there were seasons where I was like, God, I want to just finish college. I want to just be able to, like, do what I'm called to do.
[00:06:38] Speaker B: And he's like, bless your heart.
[00:06:42] Speaker C: I felt so dumb. But afterwards.
[00:06:45] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:06:45] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:06:46] Speaker B: So what would you say would be the hardest thing in that season, the hardest part of that season for you?
[00:06:53] Speaker C: There was really some contention between my husband and I because I'm the one taking birth control. I'm the one, you know? And he literally. I mean, both of us were like, why does this keep happening?
And again, like, it caused contention because we didn't realize how prepared we were. We didn't realize that God was going to provide every step of the way, everything that we needed for these kids.
[00:07:22] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:07:22] Speaker C: There. It's a huge financial commitment. It's a huge time commitment. I have to pour into these children and train them up emotionally, spiritually. And we just felt inadequate. So it really exposed our inadequacies as. As parents, as humans. And we just were depending on our own strength in a lot of areas. And so it was not until we were like, hey, if we don't turn this over to God completely, like, we're gonna drown. Like, we cannot depend on our own strength. But that. That was the hardest thing, was that, like, we had friends in our lives who were trying to get pregnant and couldn't. Like, they couldn't have kids. And so we, on the other side of that were like, we feel like we're drowning. We can't. Like, what do we do? And we're. We have five.
[00:08:18] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:08:19] Speaker C: So it is. It is just. It was hard to look at that and think, this is so good. This is so amazing. Why can't we just see this for the good, amazing thing that it is.
[00:08:33] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:08:34] Speaker C: And it took me a lot of years to really understand what God was trying to, like, work out in me, that what he was trying to work out in our family. What. I mean, I didn't see it.
[00:08:50] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:08:50] Speaker C: And when you can't see it, even if it's right in front of you, even if everybody is telling you, like, it will challenge your faith. It will challenge your mental emotional capacity. Like, motherhood is hard.
[00:09:08] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:09:09] Speaker C: And when it keeps happening times one, times two, times three, times four times. Yeah, it is.
That in itself. It was just a lot to carry. A lot. It was the most exposing thing that I have ever had to face over and over.
[00:09:27] Speaker B: So how did you see God move in that moment, in that unexpected time after time? I'M sure it was probably something different each time, too. When you look back, there were aspects.
[00:09:39] Speaker C: Of it that were very different every time. But really, at the heart of.
At the heart of it, as a father, he just kept saying, like, do you trust me? I created you. Do you trust me? Yeah, I know what you can carry. Do you trust me? I know what you have to pour out. Do you trust me?
And ultimately, I had to confront that. I did not trust him. I didn't. And that was, like, it took five times. Like, yeah. Every time that I was like, I don't.
I. I have a thing where, like, I trust God in bad moments.
[00:10:21] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:10:21] Speaker C: But I don't trust God with blessings.
I had to confront that. Like, if he made me go through hard and difficult things, no problem trusting God, because I felt like that is what, like, my foundation had prepared me for.
But I didn't know how to trust God with something that seemed like a blessing that was also heavy.
[00:10:43] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:10:44] Speaker C: That required something of me. Like, I didn't know how to trust God with good things. Because our anointing is heavy. Our blessings are like, everything can feel heavy if you are not putting it on. As, like, my yoke is easy, my burden is light.
I am carrying this with and for you, says the Lord. I wanted to, like, I wanted to carry good things. Like, I don't know why, just I was not trained properly in the Word.
But that was the consistent theme of, like, you can trust me in trials, but do you trust me to carry the anointing in your life? Do you trust me to carry the blessings in your life? Do you trust me to carry the good things in your life? And I was like, no, I am fine going through difficult things, but I did not know how to trust God with good things at all.
[00:11:43] Speaker B: Was there anything that helped your heart prepare you for what was ahead? Was there anything that.
[00:11:51] Speaker C: The word of God. Yeah, I mean, I had a moment. One of my son's names is Solomon.
At a moment. He's my fourth son. So by that time, I was, like, pretty far into this transformation process.
Reading the life of Solomon, reading what he went through, that was hard. But also reading about his life and all of these blessings and all of these good things that he had and all like his kingdom and. And I thought compared to the difficult things that he went through, managing a kingdom has to be like, the. That's a big job.
[00:12:34] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:12:35] Speaker C: And just going back to the Word and seeing how these, like, great men of God and great women of God, how God sustained their anointing and sustained the blessings in their life through the Word and relationship with him.
It gave me a passion for the Word that I didn't have before.
[00:12:56] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:12:57] Speaker C: That every time I went to the Word, God just would encourage my heart as a mom or remind me that I'm not depending on my own strength. It wasn't until that season, supernaturally, I began to pray like God, help me recall the Word of God. Not just like I know it says somewhere in the Bible that, but like chapter verse, like help me know the Word of God so that it sustains me. And so the story of King Solomon, obviously I named my son Solomon, but Solomon Domani is his name, means peace for tomorrow and today feels super overwhelming sometimes. But like he is with us in the storm. He is with us on the mountain, he is with us in the valley. It just was a season that became so real to me that as long as I have the Word of God, it's alive, it's active. It's like my ever present help in time of need.
And that, that was it. Like that was a game changer for me in like the sustaining walk. Like the same unwavering. I guess like it felt very like highs and lows and chaotic as motherhood sometimes does. But I felt like I finally found my footing.
[00:14:27] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:14:29] Speaker C: On the Word of God because it.
[00:14:31] Speaker B: Says that it's our foundation. Like that is the Word of God, is everything that we need to live a life of godliness. And it's all in there. We just have to open it.
[00:14:43] Speaker C: Yes. To open it. And like I began to pray differently about the Word of God. I don't think I was, I've always been in the Word, but I didn't create a safe place for the Word to dwell in me. I've always worshiped, but I haven't always created a safe place for the Holy Spirit to dwell in me. And there's it, it's very different when as a, as a Christian, as a child of God, as a daughter of the Most High King, we don't just go before his throne, but we create a place for him to like come and visit us.
[00:15:23] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:15:23] Speaker B: And what, what does that look like? What does it look like? Someone's listening and going, okay, that's cool for you. But how do I prepare my heart that way?
[00:15:33] Speaker C: Going so pastor's kid. Like, I've always been in church, I've always gone to church, I've always served. I've always, like, it's very outward, but you never want anybody to come into your house. And look in your closet and look at your drawers and look in. To. To your. Like, like, who looks in the bottom of your dishwasher? Like, who looks in. You know, I mean, like, really, it's. We always have those places in our lives where just no one looks.
And I began to sat down, like, just set down everything and sit down and just say, God, I don't know. It's like, God, I don't know where the smell is coming from, but I'm gonna need you to help me find this because I am not okay anymore. I'm exhausted and I'm tired. And your word says that we will run and not be weary. We will walk and not faint. Your word says that, like, the joy of the Lord is my strength. Your word says that the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness. And I don't have all of these things that are alive and active in my life. And I'm exhausted. And if I can't have this, then what even. Why am I doing all of these things?
[00:16:58] Speaker B: Yeah, what's the point?
[00:16:59] Speaker C: And I know that I have access to this. Christians know, like, I have access. But why is it not, why is it not taking root in my life?
And it just, I had to sit down and have some honest conversations with myself about the soil in my life. And I, I just, I, I was busy. I was way too busy serving and cultivating other people and the balance of, like, ministry and serving and just sitting down and letting the Holy Spirit tend to me.
[00:17:37] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:17:38] Speaker C: If you as a mom have a hard time sitting down, that is a huge indicator. If you have a hard time resting as a mom, that is a huge indicator. If you can't get your chores done and have like, reasonable structure and then sit down, that is a huge indicator. As a person with five kids, if you come to my home in that season, even in the craziest season, when I had like a 7 year old, a 6 year old, and a 3,21-year-old, my home was never out of order. Like, God helped me create an orderly environment that was not super chaotic that anybody at any time could, like, show up and be welcome. He will put your life in order if you let him. And it's very practical. Yeah, it's. How do I start my day? God, what does my cleaning schedule need to look like? God, what do I need to delegate to my children? What do I need to ask my husband for help with? What do I need to allow a friend to help me with?
And in turn, where are the areas where I Need to say yes at church? Where are the areas where I need to say no? How do I need to invest in my body?
Do I need to walk with you and pray? Do I need to sit with you and pray? Where do I need to pray? Like, I just don't think people think about such things.
[00:19:15] Speaker B: No.
[00:19:15] Speaker C: I have a friend recently who is like, not a Christian, and she's like, you are so intentional about everything that you do. Everything you do has a purpose. And I was like, well, it started long about, you know, some kids ago.
[00:19:33] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:19:34] Speaker C: And I think as a culture, we are just flying by the seat of our pants. Or even when we're not. We. We didn't ask God about it. Right. We might have a plan, but it's whatever, like something we found on Pinterest or something. Oh, my gosh. I got this new schedule and this new meal plan. I'm like, did you ask Jesus about that? Because I don't. It might be Pinterest approved, but if it is not Holy Spirit approved, it may not be what's best for your family. Yeah. I just began to ask God, like, the littlest of things. How do I need to do this? What does this look like for my family? What does this look like for my kids? And he did, like, transform my schedule and my life and how I grocery shopped and we stopped doing a lot of things that we were doing. And, man, I was like, same schedule, same amount of time. But, like, in some areas, it was more effort, but it felt like less work.
[00:20:28] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:20:29] Speaker C: Isn't that like, God, that I could be doing more, but it really feels like less because I'm like, oh, you're in that.
You're. You're orchestrating that.
[00:20:42] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:20:43] Speaker B: When we have that relationship with him, we want to ask him about everything. We want to talk to him about everything. And that's the biggest difference in a relationship and knowing someone. Because you can know Christ, you can show up to church, you can say you're a Christian, but not actually have a relationship. And that's where the want to talk to him. The want to open up his love letters to us. The want to ask him, should I do this? Like. And when something unexpected comes, the want to ask him, lord, what is going on?
Please help me navigate this. Because if we just walk through life without that, we are lost. And it is heavy and it is loading.
[00:21:30] Speaker C: Load.
[00:21:31] Speaker B: What load? Load bearing. Like it is. It's a lot laden with. There it is. I was going to say laden with.
[00:21:37] Speaker C: A load of burden.
[00:21:38] Speaker B: It's a Lot. Yeah, there it is. That's what I was working your old school hymns.
[00:21:43] Speaker C: Like your.
[00:21:46] Speaker B: That's what I was looking for. Heavy laden. Yes. And.
[00:21:49] Speaker C: But that.
[00:21:50] Speaker B: You're exactly right. Like he, he says, like you said in the beginning, he says, his yoke is easy and his burden is light. And it's when you actually yoke up with him that you feel that. And it's, it's that ebb and flow, the surrender of self to pick up his. His things. And his things aren't heavy. And when we actually realize that, and we, we are practicing that because like, you said that this, you didn't just yesterday have this peaceful thing. I mean, I, and I definitely, I can confirm that it is peaceful in your house. And every time I've said that to you, you're like, it is not me, girl. And I'm like, I know it's Jesus.
[00:22:29] Speaker C: I think some people are afraid when they don't view the Father correctly. If they haven't had a great example of what that looks like. The discipline and correction that God brings is not something to be feared. It is not something to run away from. It's not something that is going to be harsh and hurtful. It is so sweet. And in having a great earthly father as an example, I just, I haven't ever been afraid, but in relationship with other women.
[00:23:07] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:23:08] Speaker C: That is a huge, huge thing. And it does. It feels harsh. I mean, God is like, hey, this little correction may not feel great at the time, but I have, I was given a filter.
That. That is love.
[00:23:23] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:23:24] Speaker C: Because I know my father loved my, My daddy loved me. Yeah. Like, I'm like, oh, I always feel like he's favorite. So when he crushed her, I'm like, that didn't feel good, but I know it's love.
[00:23:35] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:23:35] Speaker C: And I'm like, that didn't feel great, but love. He loves me. Like, he loves me. And I mean, my kids do be getting corrected in this, but even they, they, they feel the difference when you invite the Holy Spirit into your home.
[00:23:53] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:23:54] Speaker C: It changes the environment of your home.
[00:23:57] Speaker D: Yeah, absolutely.
[00:23:59] Speaker B: So, Alena, what is one perspective that we can encourage listeners, our friends on the other side, to leave with them today?
[00:24:07] Speaker C: So it is super cliche as a, as a verse, it's used a lot.
But Jeremiah 29:11 was written to the people when they were in exile.
[00:24:23] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:24:24] Speaker C: When they were in a situation. Some of them were in a situation that they were born in exile. Like, they didn't. It's not something that was a direct. You know, response to their action. It wasn't a discipline.
And I think we find ourselves, as you know, in an unexpected place of like, I didn't ask to be here. This is not in my fault.
[00:24:45] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:24:45] Speaker C: Generational curses or a decision that our husband makes or a decision that our parents made, or life just happens. And knowing that in the middle of that, I was going to read Just because I love. Yeah, I love the word of God. It says, for this is what the Lord says, When 70 years for Babylon are complete, I will attend to you and will confirm my promise concerning you, to restore you to this place. For I know the plans that I have for you. Plans for your well being and not for disaster. To give you a future and hope. You will call to me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you search for me with all your.
A lot of people use that verse. Like, you know, God says he knows the plans that he has for us.
[00:25:43] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:25:43] Speaker C: What I want to leave with people is that, yes, God knows the plans that he has for you, but you don't know the plans that he has for you. Until you call on him, until you pray, until you seek him with your whole heart, you're not going to find him. You're not going. Like, it did not happen for me until I really, really got serious about seeking him. I was. I was doing all of the work with none of the fruit. Up until that point in my life. I was doing all of the right things and enjoying the very little of the benefits of having a relationship with God.
[00:26:25] Speaker B: It's an exhausting uphill battle.
[00:26:27] Speaker C: It is.
And so he has this moment. He's like, hey, I know you're in exile. Hey, I know you're in this place where you're doing all the things and not having a lot of fruit. You want to know how to get out of that? Seek me. Call on me with your whole heart. Because I know the plans that I have for you. I know the good things that I have in store for you. But it's like, man, how do I get there? Like, the word of God is.
Is so amazing. It says, I will be found by you.
[00:26:58] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:26:59] Speaker C: And I will restore your fortunes and I will gather you from the nations and the places where I banished you. Oh, you sent me here to learn a lesson. Oh, you gave me this unexpected thing to teach me something.
Like, right. But how do you get out of that? How do you learn the lesson? Like, you have to go back to him and seek Him. And in my life, there are always new seasons and new challenges in motherhood. Now I have a 17, 16 year old. 13, 12, 10. Like, we are in the thick of about to be adulthood. Teenagers and preteen hormones are raging. I'm like, oh, we've circled back around to giant toddlers.
[00:27:45] Speaker D: Yes.
[00:27:45] Speaker B: Oh, my. Yes.
[00:27:49] Speaker C: It's a lot. And I did not expect it to be how it is right now. So I'm like, oh, you'd think after all this, I would learn to expect the unexpected, but we don't. No, we don't ever learn. So I'm like, okay, back to seeking the Lord.
[00:28:06] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:28:06] Speaker C: Back to asking him. But thankfully, I have a game plan in this season that I didn't have before.
[00:28:12] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:28:13] Speaker C: So the game plan is seek God. Spend time with him. I know that you think that you don't have enough time to do that, but he will multiply the fish and the loaves.
[00:28:25] Speaker D: Yes.
[00:28:25] Speaker C: He will multiply the finances. He will multiply your time. It won't make sense. It will not make sense on paper. It will not make sense in real life. And that will be your testimony. My testimony? When people ask me how I do it is I don't.
[00:28:40] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:28:41] Speaker C: But I am obedient, and I do seek the Lord, and I do. I do be giving him credit and glory, because I can't. I cannot do everything that I do. It is Him. It's all Him.
[00:28:56] Speaker B: Every single day. Oh, Elena, this has been an amazing, rich conversation, and I'm so thankful that you've been here to share your heart with us.
Friends, if this episode has encouraged you or you know someone else that would be encouraged, please follow and share this with a friend. And remember that even the small shifts in perspective can lead to big change. Now go put those perspectives into practice. Talk to you next time.
